"What next..?!"

Have you ever been excited about 'what next?'. The anticipation of something good, the adrenaline rush, the mysterious smile, the humming of songs when cooking, the slip of tongues and the OMGs. The entire excitement cycle is a vicious cycle of addiction to good feelings. Vicious as it doesn't let you think about anything else!

The little joys in life always were important to me. I believed that such joys actually make up our lives. The holding of a newborn in my arms, the walking in the drizzle, the bunking of classes, the stolen glances, the shy smile when complimented, the truth & dares, the "wake up dude"s, the coffee spills and so many such events fill up my everyday life. I don't see any other way to describe the best than life gives us. All of us have our own share of joy, grief and troubles but the way we deal with it makes the whole difference. If we don't stop appreciating the beauty that life has in giving us bright colors, fragrance of amazing flowers, the honey bees, the clear rivers and definitely a morning after every night, then life is always beautiful and worth living.

Even today, I am in anticipation of "what next". I think what difference will come about the next moment. What's going to make me happy? Will I hear from him or her? Can I be walking in the rain? I mean I am on the edge every minute. I have begun a small exercise. I wake up in the morning, think of all energy I have and train my mind to think good always. Always to think that whatever happens has something good in store and whatever I do will be good. I have reaped benefits.

Thus, next time you are confused, thoughtful or mindful, close your eyes, smile and think "What next?!". Think good...

"Dare to Dream"

The power of to maintain a constant freedom from unwanted thoughts and their impact so far has been my greatest discovery. Frequently in life, we have feelings that gnaw our brains. What do we do? We become anxious, paranoid and illogical in the process. We cannot think straight for a solution and blur our own visions. There's a saying that most complicated problems sometimes have the easiest solutions. How far is this true? No problem actually has an easy solution. The magic mantra that makes it easy is our outlook or perception of the problem. It is like the two banks of a river which never meet. We have to make our choices and always stick to them. Life doesn't give you enough chances but when it does, follow your heart. 


That's my attitude, it brings with itself uncountable number of difficulties and dislikes and it becomes suffocating most of the times. I was once a girl who thought about others or solving the world's problems. My bro would tell me, "You are not here on Earth to solve someone else's problems. You have a life and therefore your own purpose. Establish yourself before trying to save the world. You know what you want, I can see it, so go get it". I would argue that we shouldn't be selfish but today I can tell you from experience that you repent if you do not choose your calculated wants. I say calculated because you definitely need to weigh the pros and cons otherwise you would land up nowhere. 


The attitude is to dare to follow your dreams. You have to banish your fears and be different from the crowd, i.e., you have to be just yourself. Now, the other side of this change is that you are prone to make mistakes or make the wrong choice. I have made mine, have wept, have hated, have been depressed. However, I haven't given up and so I stand proud. I know I will make more mistakes but they will be wiser ones and I will learn yet other lessons to live through life. The journey of life when ends, I can be proud to say I have done my bit of good work, I have been without pretense and lived my life the way I wanted. 


Be different but careful, be yourself but righteous and have a heart that beats for love of yourself. Thoughts change into revolutionary ideas...!

"The Numbness of Voidness"

The chaotic ambiance,
The hustle of restless winds,
The impregnable persona,
O! The great Voidness.

Engulfing my purity,
Chomping through,
Creating a Bliss though.

Stillness yet roughness,
Casualty of an imagination,
Ascent of the goblins,
Fierce in its creative destruction.

Incandescence, volatile, catalytic,
The grotesque sprinkles of rain,
Feeling through my body,
Like lips of an unappeased lover,
Cuddling and fondling.

Impact of the wilderness,
I wonder if I were borne by,
The pregnant enigmatic Void!

Success, Relationships & An Attitude

A little showering of "heavenly manna" on my ever thirsty knowledge buds is working wild on me! I had been noticing, since I am at home and have quite a free time, that priorities in life change so frequently. When we were kids, the only thought on our minds was to pass every exam and not fail. We grew up and became teenagers. O Lord! 5 years of fun, friendship, crushes, studies, bikes, guitars, beers and blunders. We tend to give importance to everything and manage to pass through everything. Little do we realize the impact on our lives later. Then comes the age of real tensions--jobs, serious relationships, break-ups, fights, changing of jobs, harder drinks and all in all rat race. And we think it would have been better if we would have done this or that a little earlier in life. Yet these things happen to everyone and there's nothing much to worry about it. Life and its due course depends on what interests you most. To set it in place you just need to understand your capabilities and doesn't take much time if you are determined to.

I remember doing some "guiding" sessions since I was in 12th. If I would have taken that professionally I guess I would have been one of the best counselors in the country! If you look at life minutely you will realize that success and relationships are difficult to handle together. More success and growth demands more time and relationships get strained. Rather some relationships start suffocating. I have seen people ignore others just for the fun of having some bunch of non-serious good-for-nothings for socializing. I guess that doesn't justify success. And yet some others ignore for the fear of unveiling some age old truth that might hamper things at present. I know it sounds funny but you can't run away from life and its truth.

A good and calm life requires a change in attitude. You need to understand that acceptance of every failure makes it easier to learn. You don't need to talk about it but just accept it for yourself to live well. Never miss an opportunity to do something that you had longed for. An absolute abstinence from fun, truth and adventure ruins your brain power to achieve new heights. Your attitude should hold something positive for every action of yours. Life brings an island of myriad opportunities to travel around time and undo or do things that you want, only and if only, you know where and how much priority everything holds. Never be callous but be calculative.

If the right attitude is formed then everything else sets right! Stop thinking about what could have been and take advantage of what you can make it right now!

"Missing Something"

I have a taste in my memory,
I have an aroma of exotic spices,
Just can't recall what I miss though.

I remember stirring the Kettle,
I remember feeling every little Smoke,
I remember kindling the Fire,
Still I can't recall what I miss.

I remember the two of us,
Weaving dreams which are distant memories now,
Yet your voice strokes me,
And still I can't recall what I miss.

I heard you a little while ago!
Awoke from slumber,
Found an empty dark room,
I felt you move right beside me,
I felt your fingers strumming my face like strings of guitar;
I felt your energy but
What am I missing?

You told me, "I would fulfill your wildest and silliest dreams",
I don't know what they would be though,
Illogically my lips curve,
Forming that perfect shape,
For that beloved smile you want..
And I now know what I miss;

I miss your company,
I miss that belongingness,
I miss that aura of being my true self;
I miss the vessel to complete my recipe!

"Longing to see You again"

It becomes difficult to reason out when unwanted memories hit you hard. Three years back I was shattered when Bro passed away and I never cried out completely. I had to look after how Mom handled it and couldn't break. In the days that flew by I became strong enough to handle anything or rather any pain.

The truth however is different, I cry in solitude for him, I smile at the silly little things we did together and I long for that 'looking beyond me' look of his eyes. It is lovely to have an elder brother. And it is worst to have lost him. I looked up to him when in some bad and hopeless situation. He would tell me, "Being my sister, why do you care about difficulties. You can do better than this." I now miss that voice.

The most hurtful reality is that anything I do, write or talk will not bring him back. I had shared my entire life with him-my crushes, dreams, hatred, hurts, career, and my true self. It is therefore, so difficult to let him go. I don't cry for him but I become so ruthless when I miss him. I start to hate everything and my existence without him. I penned this for him today. I hope to see you again and be your sister again and again.

I love you Gauts.