"Rippled Emotions"

Destiny's faith over heart's wants,

Designed to interlude,

Commotions of the chaotic mind.

Illusions quite electrifying,

Shudders yet reasoning,

The sense of existence.

Rippled emotions overwhelming,

Leaving behind bewilderment,

Making me angelic!

"Beauty"

A fragile fair frame,
A delicate texture,
A graceful glide,
A raw aroma.
The twinkling mischief,
The shielded form,
The innocence.
A writer's pride,
A poet's bride,
A painter's colored eye.
Beauty, you are so varied!

I look you in the eye,
I transform into you,
When Thee praises me.
I see you in an admirer's look,
I feel you in the winter's chill,
I love you in my very being.

Beauty, you are so very mine.
I hold you,
I will keep you safe
In every moment's Faith.

"My Habib"

A word of truth,

A touch of magic,

A magnificent sculpture;

I am touched by your purity,

I am strengthened by your will,

I am in mirth of confidence.

You caressed my forehead,

It felt like paradise;

You lifted me,

I felt so light;

You gazed into my eyes,

And made me yours forever.

Your smile brightens my life,

Your wit keeps me going,

Your love keeps me breathing.

What more can I say?

How more can I describe?

Thee, my Habib.

Business & Social Sentiments

I am not an economist but among the common mass who bear the immediate consequences of its ups and downs directly. A country that holds so much of differences in color, creed and religion is bound to have difference even in work environment and business. It is just natural to be facing the consequences of being born in India, the consequence of have a caste tag you in every step of life.

I was working outside my hometown and faced a difficulty in terms of difference in language and now I am working in my hometown and I face the Brahmin problem everywhere. I am introduced as a Brahmin, I am asked if I am one and I am even looked at with the same horrifying look. This piece of writing might be outrageous for some of my companions and associates but I need to write it.

My work or my deeds don't depend on me being a brahmin or being a girl. I strongly believe that it depends on me being a good and honest person before belonging to any other sect or community. I can never deny my birth or the existing traditional cultural thought in my beloved country. I am very proud to be an Indian. I am just not happy to see that India is being torn into various different religions, cultures and faiths which have broken the tolerance among the mass. All of us believe and talk about God at some some point of time. If every holy book has taught the same thing that there is only one God, then how can he have so many different religions and castes? 

Now, coming to the reality of our society today, I am surprised that even a few businesses exist and are doing well because they foster some faith in the society. I see that if a promotion is made by keeping in account some old followed values or virtues it becomes an immediate success. If such nerves can be tapped, then a business/organization is definitely going to grow. Social sentiments are very easy to kindle. If India is growing or needs to grow then every industrial sector needs to expand to the unreached and untouched regions of the country. This expansion has multiple facets. It becomes a success or failure and results in either increased or decreased revenue for the business. It might result in societal uplift through technology and it definitely results in employment. So many such ventures are in deep soup because the general mass do not see the reality of growth. There is no harm in a business/company to open up offices and branches in any part of the nation because it is a sign of economic growth and people should respect it. As a profit oriented organization the business or company should respect the need of local employment and local culture. We might be saying these things over and over again but alas, it is not happening at the pace it should. 

Even today, girls working in the corporate sector are looked at as mere objects of pleasure or pity. Also, those who have fought the way up the ladder are treated with indignation and are verbally lashed at. Also, the rest of us still struggling to be independent have many sentiments to care about. The only magic mantra I find working is honesty, courage and straightforwardness. I believe it is better to earn less than to be dishonest and harmful in earning more.

"The Chaos"

There is chaos beating through thoughts,
There is chaos in winds across,
A maddening rush in whispered words,
I know it is a careless bickering.

A mindful deed,
A careful word,
A responsible thought,
And the bickering stops.

A vanquished desire,
A banished wish,
A solitude owned,
What Thee demand?
For now,
It is me and my Chaos!

"Entwining"

A twisted tale,
A mixed-up thought,
An imagery of forgotten wishes,
And I sip in my favorite coffee?

The entwining of climbers to its tree,
Brings alive my entwining with a familiar hand.
Twisted and turned are facts and dreams,
Yet, revival of a restless soul!

I had woven tapestries,
Collected each thread of togetherness,
Sewed into permanence;
Alas! its grandeur lost.

Strange trance I fall into,
And happiness envelopes me
Amidst unwanted choices!

'Golmaal'--Fishy things! & Education

India is a land of wonders! A movie gets sued by an association that I never knew existed and it appears among major headlines. Where has education taken our people? An era of no-tolerance again? Why can't a movie be enjoyed in its spirit? I am talking about Golmaal 3 whose filmmakers are sued by The Indian Stammering Association (TISA), stating that it mocks at the people with stammering disability. Now, it doesn't make sense to me. I have a brother who stammers and can't even speak 5 words without stammering. We don't tag him as a handicap or disabled. He plays, he eats, he reads, he runs, he smiles, he makes sense when he talks and he is living. How can such beautiful people be mocked at or called disabled? Shreyas' character, Laxman in the movie, is incomplete without stammers. You have to follow an order when you make a sequel and that is all being done. Why is the suing done after the movie release? How is it just to demand the deletion of stammering scenes?

On the other hand, I may be told, by the TISA, that it feels bad when we are laughed at. I might as well agree to it. The remedy is not suing some filmmaker. The remedy of the mockery is to prove that people who stammer are ordinary people. Why do you give others a chance to laugh at you? You make yourselves emotionally and psychologically suppressed and people take undue advantage. It never matters what people think of you. What matters is how you stand by what you say, do or believe in.

The other case or major headline is the collapse of a building in Delhi where 61 are killed and 80 are injured. It calls for some awakening of people. The honorable CM, Sheila Dikshit, has mentioned about illegal construction and negligence. I respect that. My point of view on the matter would be that a big 'Golmaal' exists. Education for some is a means for corruption and nothing proves it better that this building collapse or the footbridge collapse just before CWG. People take degrees and make some high level mistakes! The common men, who want to live a common life with family, are the ones who suffer most. The hyped statement from every political, judicial or official source would be, 'The wrong doing will be brought to light and proper action taken against those involved'. I haven't quoted anyone but this is imprinted in my memory for as long as I remember. We, the people of India, are not in need of statements anymore. We need action against corruption and anti-law deeds. We should pledge not to help the wrong-doers too by giving in to intolerable and unreasonable demands.

The whole point of this piece boils down to the fact that if we have education then our actions should prove that. Fictional entertainment cannot be brought to resemble life. Also, education and literacy are two arguably different things. Education is when one can think rationally and one's deeds become a path for self-improvement and social benefit. Literacy is just when one can read and write, not necessarily an improvement in the mindset. Are we educated? Think about it!

"The Scent"

An absurd thought,

A wild craze,

A spirit of the stallion,

What is it that you expect my heart?

Numerous and countless times,

You caused me worry,

This time what is it you want of me?

There was a time when the Scent lured me,

It covered me with a spell,

I loitered blind with obnoxious eyes onlooking,

Yet safe!

I could not let go,

Yes I let it linger on me,

How intoxicating its touch!

No more than a night it lasts;

Like sheets overturned in the morn,

Replacing a memory,

Its effect shifts replacing my companionship.

"Never look back"

Time and again,

I confront myself,

I imagine what it could have been

That is not.

I console, it is what is meant to be,

Then why my heart fumes at me?

I look back and understand,

I left behind some things-

Some little laughs,

Some untold wishes,

Few boring chats,

And a few mistakes.

Time never rests,

Nor do we,

Then why look back?

March ahead,

For life's a war,

Between Desires and Truths.

So best is keep things at rest,

And never look back.

"Chocolate & Me"

I say, "I like fruits and nuts in you",

He says, "Taste me just as I am",

I retort, "You are bitter",

He explains, "You get sweeter after I melt in your mouth".

He has been a friend in dreams,

He has been my partner in mischief,

He has been my delight,

Yet, I don't crave for him!

He makes me smile when I am naughty,

He reminds me of times I had been happy,

He stares at me,

With a darker complexion,

And says, "I am angry".

Then happens a miracle,

I hold my sweet Chocolate,

A perfect wrap of my fingers around,

I take off the covers,

I take my maiden bite.

I close my eyes,

I feel it melt,

And I knew I had been a fool,

Never to break the ice!

My dear Chocolate,

You are better than lover's dream.

Marketing is scintillating!

"What is Marketing?"; "How does it work?". These two are the most common questions arising in the minds of MBA students, general public and even some business professionals. Everyone understands what Finance relates to or HRM relates to but when it comes to marketing only a few 'would be' tycoons and companies can make a demarcation. I am an MBA, specialized in Marketing, so I take this privilege of writing this piece with a combination of my experience at work and my perception. 

I would describe Marketing as the art of presenting your product with the utmost delicate garnishing so that your prospective buyer is taken aback and gets curious to know more. Thereafter, it is the expertise in getting the ingredients correct and giving the buyer an unforgettable experience. If I may draw a parallel, the experience should be at par with 'devouring a black forest with light chocolate chips and hot chocolate sauce over it'! No marketing activity can be successful until you can address the need of the mass and definitely exceed it.

What is it that goes into making a good marketer? A degree? Or conceptualization? Considering today's corporate world it takes both. You need a professional degree so that your resume gets you an interview. The sustenance of your job is what matters. It involves your ability to visualize an idea, conceptualize and finally present. The foremost responsibility of any marketer, is to love the idea or his product. Unless there is love and attraction for your work/product it might get messy. The next is the complete knowledge about your product, all the necessary know-hows, otherwise you can end up in deep soup. I have ended up making a fool out of myself and messing up things only because I did not have complete knowledge about what I was marketing. Then the knowledge about the target market. Gosh this can be dangerous!. It may so happen that your product caters to the need of the youth but after initial marketing and launch you get only middle aged males as your buyers. Wait a second! Here is where coherence of needs, advertisement or promotion and launch comes into play. Thus, research and consumer surveys play such a significant role. You need to get your ground work done and build a strong foundation.

Selling and Marketing are two different things. Marketing is the art of making a service or product salable. Selling is the art of convincing your prospective buyer to invest in it, that is, pay for it. Marketing is carried on to sell a product. It is like Salsa. If the partners don't have the perfect balance and grip, it Fails. When you roll in Salsa, your partner needs to have his grip so you can be fearless in letting loose. 

I sometimes think of Marketing as a sensuous lady. You just need to touch the right chords and she will dance to your tune. 

"I Feel"

I feel a quiver,
I feel a breeze;
I feel a touch,
I feel a grief.

I know I am sane,
Yet I feel insane;
I sleep at night,
Yet insomniac.

Rendering me motionless,
A wave passes by;
I hold onto two hands tight,
And gaze into the light.

You come by,
Saving me from insanity,
The touch of your hands,
Speaking in a million ways,
Your eyes,
Resting my heaving heart.
I owe you this my smile!

"A Lovebite talks to me!"

A wonderful small dark patch,
Look alike of a bruise,
A closer look
And I knew it was indeed a Lovebite!
It flaunted its depth,
It flaunted the care,
It talked of its being,

"I was not caused by harm,

I wasn't meant to be there hanging,

Staring into your eyes.

I am there to reveal you,

I am there to conceal little wishes,

I am there to mesmerize you,

I am there to love you!"

A little more was said,

A little more was understood.

I turned on my side,

I kissed it light,

And it smiled.

I heard some chirping,

Warmth I felt,

I sat upright,

Only to realize,

I was dreaming throughout the night...!

"A Conspiracy"

In my porch is an armchair,

I sit and sip my Black Coffee without Sugar,

Tasteless yet lively.

I hear the evening birds heading home,

I hear the trees humming a lullaby,

I smell a sandy fragrance.

I am restless with the setting sun,

My thoughts are not coherent,

The cacophony of the evening,

Settling my nerves with stagnant blood.

Is this a joyous moment?

Or is this Thy magnitude?

Unveil, unleash and bare,

A Conspiracy of sweetness you withhold.

"What next..?!"

Have you ever been excited about 'what next?'. The anticipation of something good, the adrenaline rush, the mysterious smile, the humming of songs when cooking, the slip of tongues and the OMGs. The entire excitement cycle is a vicious cycle of addiction to good feelings. Vicious as it doesn't let you think about anything else!

The little joys in life always were important to me. I believed that such joys actually make up our lives. The holding of a newborn in my arms, the walking in the drizzle, the bunking of classes, the stolen glances, the shy smile when complimented, the truth & dares, the "wake up dude"s, the coffee spills and so many such events fill up my everyday life. I don't see any other way to describe the best than life gives us. All of us have our own share of joy, grief and troubles but the way we deal with it makes the whole difference. If we don't stop appreciating the beauty that life has in giving us bright colors, fragrance of amazing flowers, the honey bees, the clear rivers and definitely a morning after every night, then life is always beautiful and worth living.

Even today, I am in anticipation of "what next". I think what difference will come about the next moment. What's going to make me happy? Will I hear from him or her? Can I be walking in the rain? I mean I am on the edge every minute. I have begun a small exercise. I wake up in the morning, think of all energy I have and train my mind to think good always. Always to think that whatever happens has something good in store and whatever I do will be good. I have reaped benefits.

Thus, next time you are confused, thoughtful or mindful, close your eyes, smile and think "What next?!". Think good...

"Dare to Dream"

The power of to maintain a constant freedom from unwanted thoughts and their impact so far has been my greatest discovery. Frequently in life, we have feelings that gnaw our brains. What do we do? We become anxious, paranoid and illogical in the process. We cannot think straight for a solution and blur our own visions. There's a saying that most complicated problems sometimes have the easiest solutions. How far is this true? No problem actually has an easy solution. The magic mantra that makes it easy is our outlook or perception of the problem. It is like the two banks of a river which never meet. We have to make our choices and always stick to them. Life doesn't give you enough chances but when it does, follow your heart. 


That's my attitude, it brings with itself uncountable number of difficulties and dislikes and it becomes suffocating most of the times. I was once a girl who thought about others or solving the world's problems. My bro would tell me, "You are not here on Earth to solve someone else's problems. You have a life and therefore your own purpose. Establish yourself before trying to save the world. You know what you want, I can see it, so go get it". I would argue that we shouldn't be selfish but today I can tell you from experience that you repent if you do not choose your calculated wants. I say calculated because you definitely need to weigh the pros and cons otherwise you would land up nowhere. 


The attitude is to dare to follow your dreams. You have to banish your fears and be different from the crowd, i.e., you have to be just yourself. Now, the other side of this change is that you are prone to make mistakes or make the wrong choice. I have made mine, have wept, have hated, have been depressed. However, I haven't given up and so I stand proud. I know I will make more mistakes but they will be wiser ones and I will learn yet other lessons to live through life. The journey of life when ends, I can be proud to say I have done my bit of good work, I have been without pretense and lived my life the way I wanted. 


Be different but careful, be yourself but righteous and have a heart that beats for love of yourself. Thoughts change into revolutionary ideas...!

"The Numbness of Voidness"

The chaotic ambiance,
The hustle of restless winds,
The impregnable persona,
O! The great Voidness.

Engulfing my purity,
Chomping through,
Creating a Bliss though.

Stillness yet roughness,
Casualty of an imagination,
Ascent of the goblins,
Fierce in its creative destruction.

Incandescence, volatile, catalytic,
The grotesque sprinkles of rain,
Feeling through my body,
Like lips of an unappeased lover,
Cuddling and fondling.

Impact of the wilderness,
I wonder if I were borne by,
The pregnant enigmatic Void!

Success, Relationships & An Attitude

A little showering of "heavenly manna" on my ever thirsty knowledge buds is working wild on me! I had been noticing, since I am at home and have quite a free time, that priorities in life change so frequently. When we were kids, the only thought on our minds was to pass every exam and not fail. We grew up and became teenagers. O Lord! 5 years of fun, friendship, crushes, studies, bikes, guitars, beers and blunders. We tend to give importance to everything and manage to pass through everything. Little do we realize the impact on our lives later. Then comes the age of real tensions--jobs, serious relationships, break-ups, fights, changing of jobs, harder drinks and all in all rat race. And we think it would have been better if we would have done this or that a little earlier in life. Yet these things happen to everyone and there's nothing much to worry about it. Life and its due course depends on what interests you most. To set it in place you just need to understand your capabilities and doesn't take much time if you are determined to.

I remember doing some "guiding" sessions since I was in 12th. If I would have taken that professionally I guess I would have been one of the best counselors in the country! If you look at life minutely you will realize that success and relationships are difficult to handle together. More success and growth demands more time and relationships get strained. Rather some relationships start suffocating. I have seen people ignore others just for the fun of having some bunch of non-serious good-for-nothings for socializing. I guess that doesn't justify success. And yet some others ignore for the fear of unveiling some age old truth that might hamper things at present. I know it sounds funny but you can't run away from life and its truth.

A good and calm life requires a change in attitude. You need to understand that acceptance of every failure makes it easier to learn. You don't need to talk about it but just accept it for yourself to live well. Never miss an opportunity to do something that you had longed for. An absolute abstinence from fun, truth and adventure ruins your brain power to achieve new heights. Your attitude should hold something positive for every action of yours. Life brings an island of myriad opportunities to travel around time and undo or do things that you want, only and if only, you know where and how much priority everything holds. Never be callous but be calculative.

If the right attitude is formed then everything else sets right! Stop thinking about what could have been and take advantage of what you can make it right now!

"Missing Something"

I have a taste in my memory,
I have an aroma of exotic spices,
Just can't recall what I miss though.

I remember stirring the Kettle,
I remember feeling every little Smoke,
I remember kindling the Fire,
Still I can't recall what I miss.

I remember the two of us,
Weaving dreams which are distant memories now,
Yet your voice strokes me,
And still I can't recall what I miss.

I heard you a little while ago!
Awoke from slumber,
Found an empty dark room,
I felt you move right beside me,
I felt your fingers strumming my face like strings of guitar;
I felt your energy but
What am I missing?

You told me, "I would fulfill your wildest and silliest dreams",
I don't know what they would be though,
Illogically my lips curve,
Forming that perfect shape,
For that beloved smile you want..
And I now know what I miss;

I miss your company,
I miss that belongingness,
I miss that aura of being my true self;
I miss the vessel to complete my recipe!

"Longing to see You again"

It becomes difficult to reason out when unwanted memories hit you hard. Three years back I was shattered when Bro passed away and I never cried out completely. I had to look after how Mom handled it and couldn't break. In the days that flew by I became strong enough to handle anything or rather any pain.

The truth however is different, I cry in solitude for him, I smile at the silly little things we did together and I long for that 'looking beyond me' look of his eyes. It is lovely to have an elder brother. And it is worst to have lost him. I looked up to him when in some bad and hopeless situation. He would tell me, "Being my sister, why do you care about difficulties. You can do better than this." I now miss that voice.

The most hurtful reality is that anything I do, write or talk will not bring him back. I had shared my entire life with him-my crushes, dreams, hatred, hurts, career, and my true self. It is therefore, so difficult to let him go. I don't cry for him but I become so ruthless when I miss him. I start to hate everything and my existence without him. I penned this for him today. I hope to see you again and be your sister again and again.

I love you Gauts.

"A Feeling of Disgust"

I had been silent,
Didn't let go of my dreams,
Constructed walls,
Protected my own self.

You come by,
Lure me to an ending,
You hear out my dreams,
And leave me disgusted.

I held onto a mirage for years,
Broken now every wall is,
Barren now my dreams are,
God Bless Thee who caused me a shame non-forgettable.

"The Raw Reality"

'Reality', a word that means a lot to everyone and nothing can be done about it by anyone. We grow up and make friends and then we have stronger relationships. Sometimes in life, we need to ask ourselves where and how has the reality of these relationships settled? At some point of time we start belonging to a relationship or friendship or maybe profession and then it eats on to us and our capacity to bear the pain. It will be the rarest of realities that are happy. We lose ourselves to someone else and then we keep thinking that destiny has made that choice but where did our decision-making power hide? We don't like a dress we choose not to buy it, we throw an old shoe away and eat the food that suits us best then why sometimes we make choices against our own will? That's where we end up hurting ourselves and few others who really care about us.

The brooding over past is definitely a common thing. Girls tend to do that more even though they can come out and get over a difficulty easily. It is because they need to manage the running of a home so they can't stay put at one particular moment. Somehow it is good to think about the actions in past and the consequences that made the present of our lives. We always say that we should live at the present moment but a present wouldn't have existed without a past and future will not if there is no present. It is interrelated how much we try to deny.

If we never made choices even after wanting to then we never get a chance again. We can never get back that day, that moment and that choice of that past time. We may be standing parallel to the same moment but the roads never meet. We try in an effort to revive happiness or revive our souls or make a difference in maybe someone's life, but it never ends well. There will be a kind of remorse and unhappiness about it. Someone if you have hurt is back as the same old friend then believe me it is not the same. If a job comes back to you it may have different responsibilities. The 'coming backs' definitely should get you stronger and leave you with a self-realization never felt before. But sometimes these also come with a price of their own......you can end up making a stupid mistake. The lesson learnt should be never to make a choice without our will and if made never to bring back or retain it or even 'ease' it.

We are meant to live our own lives, but in the process never make another life difficult. We should respect the way we were born, the capabilities we have got and the immense gift of thoughts and ideas. We should never let a moment's joy or grief affect our whole life. Most important, never let go of our own secrets, keep the greatest secrets with ourselves. The secret to a healthy self-respect!

"Certain Nicknames"

Nicknames are just how people remember you at times. Your parents know you better by your pet name and as you grow up you get christened with various pet names with reasons and meanings behind each. Few pet names that I remember, given to me and given by me or the "a.k.a".

When I was around 6 years old:

• Chum - By Bro my 'bestest' friend because I was the sweetest girl on earth for him and it continued forever

School and College (11th & 12th) Friends

• Shorty - Forgotten who christened me this but reason being my short height.
• Petrol - A classmate named me in school because I seem to have fought with her
• Suji - I christened a beautiful girl (classmate), I really distorted the name!
• Kaddu - Given by a very close friend I named Pols....
• K- Given by my friend whom I called Shek
• Ruh - My friend Ruhi 
• Dipu - Deppak my friend

But most commonly I was and am still called Kavi.

Bachelor's and MBA:

• KKK - Can't expand it!!! My pet name running even now
• Hari Mirchi meaning green chilli given by my friend's brother's friends....
• Chutki again because I am short

I guess I can remember just this much. It may seem gibberish and meaningless to a lot of you. It holds importance now when I have looked back at my life and at those people who at one time been so good, close or hurt to have named me. Nice to have nick names. It means some one cares in some way and that I remember them in a special way. Thanks.

"Getting Back in Touch--How wonderful!"

Misty Shillong Welcomes Me

I have been amazed at my own joy and great expectations in meeting old friends after 7-10 years of absolute silence. I am in Shillong after 7 years. I have lived my childhood here and have grown up to be an extraordinarily straight-forward being.

I couldn't speak in English when I first came to Shillong (1991) and thus suffered severe consequences. My pencils, erasers and even lunch box were stolen and snatched in front of me and I couldn't even fight back. Then came rigorous training at home from Bro and teachers at school. Gradually, by late 1992, I could converse well enough. Since then, Shillong has just taught me lessons after lessons necessary to make the package that I am.

St. Edmund's College

I was always very choosy about friends and thus have very few friends. You can't get close to every person you meet! Now, thanks to Facebook, that I happened to bump into so many old friends, most of them married and mothers, most others well settled in life. I have met lectures, walked down those small lanes of St. Edmund's College, where I had famous and infamous adventures; met school friends, talked for hours of time long past. I am in nostalgia for the past 5 days and I guess it will never end now.


It is so wonderful to get back in touch, it is a different world. I have overlooked the bad and forgave the faults because it is just no use remembering them. I am so happy to have forgotten most things and just realize that when I was young, I was so difficult!  I am proud that people remember me and are so proud of me. I guess it was worth being born.

Walking down the memory lanes of childhood, I have relived it every moment, minute by minute, every dialog word by word and every friend nature by nature. Thank you Shillong and friends in here who have helped me grow.

Feels like heaven

"A Picture"

It wasn't a long time ago that I had a picture,
One that spoke of a few little things,
It concealed a smile,
And outweighed a few goods.

I had a little purse,
Inside was this picture,
It was old,
Alongside it I carried a note.

It had a captivating small face,
A huge smile,
And then I see it was me in a little white nappy!

I had it and forgot it,
I found it but kept it,
Kept it with my mother's old diary,
Knowing she will not lose it.

A picture when:
I was untouched with fury,
I was simply silly,
I was only my mother's girly,
And loved to be jolly.

Now, it is just a memory!

A memoir of My Brother

Dear Followers and Readers, I have started a page named "My Brother" in this blog and have been updating whenever possible. This page is intended to create a kind of a small memoir about my brother and help his life and writings be preserved and read by others.

It is an enormously difficult task to chalk out someone close's life. It hurts at first but I am so happy to be able to do something to keep him alive. It is a small effort and I hope to receive your appreciation and encouragement. I will  be writing about him and post his poems in the coming days.

Thanks.

"The Last Time I saw You"

I was a little surprised,
The last time I saw you;
We had so many things in common.

I was excited,
So were you,
I was worried,
And you were too.

We held an eye lock,
Speaking a million silent words,
We held our trembling hands,
And strolled for miles of evening roads.

Amidst confusion of where to begin,
I trembled at a thunder,
You held me close,
Whispered "You are safe";
That was the magical moment,
When you took my heart away once again.

I know you do that stealing everyday,
Day after day from the time I have known you;
Since three years back.

The Mighty Brahmaputra

A view of the Mighty Brahmaputra, flowing below the 3 kms long Kolia Bhomora Bridge connecting Sonitpur and Nogaon. I have been through this bridge for many times during my visits to my Granny's place, Aunt's and probably entire set of relatives!!! This bridge was named after the famous Ahom General Kolia Bhomora Phukan. The construction company, Hindustan Construction Company, had been awarded by the American Concrete Institute, the Certificate of Merit for "The Most Outstanding Concrete Structures" in the year 1988.

I have always noticed the Brahmaputra flowing over danger levels in the monsoon season and thus this sight was a surprise. Right in the heart of the river was a small strip of land shaped like an arc with numerous trees and bushes in full growth. Subject to my sleeping senses consequent of heat, I thought we had crossed the bridge. Then came the light of enlightenment! The Mighty Brahmaputra has gone so shallow giving way for a dense growth of trees. Is it just industrialization or human handiwork? 

Nevertheless, the Brahmaputra is still the largest river in India, and still the cause of fertile and green Assam. I had noticed that industrialization has its own Blessings and Curses. We are blessed with high quality, varied and hi-tech commodities. We are cursed with deforestation and filling of river beds for supporting the means to acquire the blessings.

I am forced to think where is population growth going to lead us? I have seen settlements right in the middle of this mighty river. They get washed off like sand when Brahmaputra floods. Then I think where will we support all the people? The rich can afford a house/flat but the poor seem to be destined to nature's mercies. It is difficult understand how much can I or any of us do to help this situation. NGOs have been working, but it is a pretty alarming situation. We can't tell people not to get married nor can we tell them not to have even a single child..! 

"An Evening in the Countryside"

Naughty drizzle,
Shimmering lights far away,
Rusted roofs,
Singing crickets,
Amidst these is a narrow road:
A dusty road,
With a longing look,
Carrying me to the woods of crazy wishes.

I stand by its side,
Stare at the empty vastness,
Yet feel the whispering love,
Of the million living laughing branches.

I wish I were a little bird,
I would have flown from tree to tree,
I would have kissed every leaf,
I would have lived a loving night every night
And slept in the arms of the evening moon light.

Alas! I am human,
Need to go back to where I come from,
I need to be me at the end;
And waiting for another evening in the countryside.

"The Dancing Rain Drops"

I have always been a 'dancer in the rain'. I love the little drops strumming my face so soft and tender leaving behind the warmth of joy. Rain has been a fascinating phenomenon ever since I first drenched myself. I don't remember when it was but I remember how I enjoyed it and smiled all my way back from school. My loving mother thrashed me for that!

One time in Shillong (I grew up there, class 1 through 12), when I was in my 8th or 9th standard, heavy rains came pouring down when we were waiting for our car to take us home. Unexpected huge, nearly lawn tennis ball sized, spiked hail stones fell along. Our car window glasses got scratched, the hood got dents and we got bad bruises. That day was when I really got scared of rains. It however didn't break my spirit, I still love drenching myself and splashing water puddles and not carrying umbrella be it hail storms or heavy rains...

I wonder the effect such water drops falling from 'high skies' has on everything...leaves shine better, ground gets cleaned, new life germinates, birds chirp, and breeze gets cooler. I had not much time to stand and enjoy rains for a few years now but these past 4 days I feel like I am in heaven--the little dancing and playful rain drops sing unto my ears in the morning. I watch them caress everything that they touch. The swaying of leaves, the fragrance of the thirsty earth and tiny sparrows bathing themselves. O! How Majestic.

The best dish for a rainy day (personal taste) is hot cup of thick dark coffee and French fries or most loved Indian "Besan ke pakode". My taste buds are tickling! For instance, I had 5 cups of hot tea today!

The little feet of Rain Drops,
Dancing to the rhythm of my heartbeat,
Causing me a restless urge,
I miss my childhood days.


I miss today,
The holding of hands,
Wetting of skirts,
Blowing of whistles with my little friends.


I yearn today to feel-
Feel the surrendering eternal love,
Of Thee-
My companion of silent wishes,
My warrior of untold fears,
My strength of a thousand years.

Education and the New Learning

I have always learned that education paves the way of a better living and can refine one's thoughts. I have always known the difference between being educated and literate - educated beings understand where and what to say and do but all literate beings can't differentiate right and wrong.

Yesterday, 31st August 2010, I and parents have been on a 6 hour journey by car to my Aunt's place. On the way, in a place called Urang, we noticed a traffic jam. Frankly, I had been sleeping so awoke with a noise of honking horns and abusive language. I opened my eyes and with a sleepy head figured out that no vehicle ahead of us were moving nor were any cars coming from the other side. After trying to figure out a way to get rid of the jam I saw that a procession of school children, bearing huge banners, were holding a road blockade. I read the banner and found that their headmaster/principal was expelled from service and the students took out a procession demanding his return to work. My mom and I talked to the other people gathered and found out that their demand or cause was probably not unjust. Since I had not much knowledge about the entire event I kept shut and did not comment. However, after around 30 minutes when things were taking a turn towards rude and hostile behavior, I couldn't help say that "Stupidity and nonsense have limits". An elderly man, I guess a father of one of the students, talked to me and asked what I felt.

During that small conversation I told him that there will be no gains by harassing the general public or bringing the school fight to the roads. In reply he told me that these days some are taught such ways of expressing their intelligence. I then realized that somewhere the education system is faulting. However, since my mother had the Indian Army dependent card through my late brother, we were allowed to move ahead.

The students in the procession were from Class 7 to 10th. I have thinking since then that in my school life we were not so aggressive and never took our school issues to the public or at least not to the roads. It was never that we had no problems but we boycotted classes and took a procession out to the Head Sister's chamber. We used to sit out for entire day in the playground and still we were heard and never were we not respected or loved. I see the change now, students have become so 'political' in their thoughts and actions. Those young kids knew no respect, they had no regards for all the parents and grownups while using insulting and abusive words.

After coming back to Guwahati I have noticed 3 such events. Yesterday's procession blew my wits out. Where is education leading our youth of today? Is it teaching them to be not learning good but learning coercive power form? Is education today teaching the Indian youth not to respect others? Or is it teaching them to be truthful and respectable? How will they be respected if they can't understand how and when to respect whom?

I am neither saying all students and the entire youth population is worthless nor am I saying that I am a very good human being. I though hold myself quite highly educated because I still know how to respect others and at least try to solve an issue by discussion and logical argument not violence. It is time to do a bit of work in teaching our children or young ones about being truly educated and not just having high percentages in progress reports. Let us do one good deed for a better growth of our country.

"Dust"

Life sometimes brings to you a bunch of long awaited surprises and then in the blink of an eye takes some others away! The path to a happy life is unknown to us. We design our own life coloring it with the raw paint of our desires and framing it to our little hearts. I often think that human life is the gypsy way of living-we live through one phase to another of life. With each passing phase we make our choices amongst the mayhem of dilemmas.

I know not who created us- God or Science - but whoever did  has done a great job. We are so different, varied thoughts and colors and yet we survive by breathing in the same air. We are endowed with brains and capabilities. The best we can do is use them the best way we can. The best lived life is of the one who ceases to exist but is still remembered and cried for!

Dust I will one day be,
Riches I have to one day forgo,
I will cease to breathe one day,
My heart will stop beating one day.

One true tear drop,
One heart that beats to see me again,
Just one such being that remembers me,
Will pave the salvation path for me.

"LILY"

Drained to the last drop of fluid,
A bottle is emptied,
Thrown to unite itself with the rags on the pathways.
The cacophony of a long past eon,
Resound in the dungeons of unwanted memories.
The jittering noise of the many broken empty hearts
Vibes as ripples of shattering broken emptied bottles,
It resembles a familiar noise.
The cynical restless wind blows across
Eroding the softness of a blooming Lily,
It still stands and blooms in Glory,
Defying phantoms of fear and sorry.
O! The majestic splendor
I owe you my destiny.

"Random Complications of the Heart"

I am not going to give you any advice on low cholesterol nor am I going to tell you how you get a cardiac arrest. I am just going to talk about hearts as the source of feelings and the complications arising because it feels.

No matter how hard you try to free it from many bonds, it always remains clinging onto something or the other. Hermits and all those who abstain from worldly pleasures are also clinging onto the pleasure of their heart. How? They do not need money, love, family and all riches but they want to preach what they believe in and would love if others followed it.

Who knows what Love is!? This is a typical reaction from many a people in family or out of family for those who decide or wish to spend a life together. In India, Love is still considered a ‘taboo’. People don’t hesitate to kill their sons & daughters in the name of honor. Honor killing is just another name for butchering a person for your own ideas and convictions.

‘Caste System’ in India is more powerful than a government. No law in written prevents you from choosing your partner but caste prevents you to even look at another person with respect. I despise this system and I defy all manifestations of a high caste. All people can turn to be the best national hero if given the right opportunity. I have seen so many young kids living in the slums playing football like they were born to dribble it. I don’t say that all less privileged people are good or otherwise. I would just like to call on the conscience of people for treating others right. Love is not understood by people who have not been loved or have never loved unconditionally. It is that feeling that makes you feel worth living. Caste, creed, color, race or religion has no hand in it. It defies and denies to be bound. Two people can make a marriage successful only if they belong to each other regardless of it being a love marriage or an arranged marriage.

People have died to wipe out caste but even after 60 years of ‘Independence’ we are slaves of it. A person builds his life with his deeds and not his religion or color or caste. Respect, Admiration, Good deeds, Knowledge and Virtue are not born out of caste. You respect a teacher for imparting you with knowledge. Do you ever ask a teacher if his caste was that of yours?

I believe in what I have learnt from my education “Facta non Verba”.  I am not the most ‘right-doer’ but I have 100% faith that I do abstain from wrong deeds. I define ‘wrong’ as those actions that harm others. You may now think, “What when lovers do their will and hurt their parents?” The difference exists if the person you chose is ‘blessed’ with a good character. You are bestowed with a brain and it should be used to figure out if he/she is worthy enough for you to stand a fight against your family.

I am told “It is not important who supports you because it is your life. Picture your life 10 years hence with or without family and then make a choice.” This particular advice is applicable not just for one situation but for all decisions you take in life. You should think the same when you choose a job, house, spouse and all important factors that are essential in sustaining life. Be Wise!

"QUIT SMOKING?!"

All of us somewhere and at some point of time tell at least one person to quit smoking. I have also done so not just once but many a times. I had lectured on how and why should one not smoke and how beneficial it will be. There are certain revelations that have come upon me. When I am in a difficult fix, I say, "It is easy for you to say that but you'll not understand me. You are not in my situation." Oh Boy! These words seem so easy to just blurt. It is time to think not just twice but deeper before you speak.

If a smoker has been in the habit for more than 3-4 years, it is a cruel situation for him. It is difficult for others to make him quit. It is a painful time for everyone near and dear. The worst pain, helpless situation and cruelty are the Smoker's. By 'him' I refer to all Smokers regardless of gender and by using the term 'Smokers', I am not being hateful, not kindling disrespect nor am I being indignant. It is as simple a word to understand and relate to. I draw this blog from close observations within my social group.

If I go on to explaining smoking then it may take various forms, smoking tobacco, cocaine, opium etc etc. All I refer here to is the act and many difficult situations arising out of it. When you drag that evil substance and hold it to your neck, letting it burn your throat, you don't realize the aftermath. The first time, you try, second time it is pure fun, third it is “I can do it” and thereafter it is habit. You let the drug take over you and your thoughts. You can’t breathe if your smoke schedule is delayed, you can’t think, your mind gets clogged and you feel all around you is dark.

"Quit Smoking" is a very common phrase we hear from parents, spouse, children and everyone who care about us. Saying this is very easy because you just speak but doing it is tougher than probably going uphill Mt. Everest. The craving for a cigarette is so intense-it is uncontrollable and people who do it are really brave fighters with will to live. A Smoker can't quit overnight but it needs gradual reduction in consumption. It should not be forced upon one to smoke none in a day but to reduce the number first. In that process the need of it lessened. It takes believe me more than a year for a Smoker to willingly say "Sorry I don't smoke." The process of quitting requires the closest family or friend to be with the victim forever without being rude but being loving, understanding and strong enough not to given in to a Smoker's pain. 

Endurance from all, care from all, encouragement and alternatives to smoke are all of utmost importance. You can't afford to yell and shout at the person who feels dead because you don't give him what he wants. The situations can be traumatic but keeping things going with hope and smile and care are all needed. You need to build the victim's self confidence by showing him his talents giving him a challenging hobby where that excess energy of craving can be drawn to a positive outcome.

A Smoker was never born so and he never wants to die so. Smokers need strength and your understanding. An addiction of any kind is injurious but no one wants to hurt another in a conscious state of mind. 

"KITES flew over me!"

At last KITES flew over me! It was a pretty amazing evening. I went with expectations sky soaring yet with a skeptic mind. I wanted to watch the movie given any condition and therefore don't repent going for it. My feel with the movie was not met with.

Kites has done a pretty good job in promoting itself-from the promo trailer to the Acer & Reliance. It has mixed in itself the Hollywood romance and Bollywood feel with great action. That is where it lacked in perfection. The movie was a little too stretched. The first 30 minutes I was spellbound and it was the only time I was on the edge. It has some beautiful moments that will touch your heart and tickle your imagination but the story was not so powerful or rather it could have been made a little more captivating.

Barbara was perfect in her role. She is innocent, and soft. Hrithik also did well from physique to feel. However, more than half the movie I spent time on trying to figure things out and understand where the other Big characters  ' role in the story. Given the circumstances of the release and promotions I believe it will break even in the first week as the fans'/audience curiosity shall pay off. I guess the English version/Hollywood style may be slightly better as it will be made a standard 90 minutes movie. 

Overall, Kites could not meet my expectations. I may sound like a critic but I am just a "great lover of good movies".

"KITES not to fly in Karnataka"

Long awaited movie Kites starring Hrithik and Barbara Mori loses its string in Karnataka when Karnataka Film Chambers boycotted and stopped the screening of Kites. The Chamber said that Kites had sold 46 prints instead of the regulated and agreed upon norm.

Now, does it matter to people? It does to the immense excited number of 'fans' of Hrithik and the effect is multiplied due to the good marketing done. (Thank God I am a Marketing Major.....ha ha ha). Take for instance me, I have my advance bookings done for the weekend and am not sure if it is screening there. I am not able to get through to theater lines nor is the list of cinemas that may screen the movie.

I believe it is in public interest that both, the Chamber and the producers can work things out. Maybe reviews of the premier may not be as expected but it is not always the end. I would implore people to wait and watch. I guess the solution to the problem is to think and chalk out a solution rather than blaming one or the other for certain 'non grave' mistakes.

I do not know about the fans in Bangalore, but I do know about myself....I will go to the theater and find it out myself. I may be lucky! Then I will decide how good the movie is and will keep you posted.

"Beat The Monotony"

The best way to articulate any thought is to write about it. There are certain things in life that can be expressed best in black and white. Today, I would like to pen about the most yearned activity FUN.

In today's world of continuous outstanding performance at work, family and socially, it is very important to have fun and do something different from time to time. Taste and choice of activities differ from person to person. Fun is defined as any excited or violent activity therefore it depends on one's physical and psychological health. I would like to brief about various activities that can be relaxing. I am not an expert nor an organizer of such activities so my briefing is not guaranteed. I expect you readers to enhance it with ideas, experiences and expert knowledge. At the end of the post I will provide you with a few links to various packages organized by tourism companies or firms. I hope they are useful.

Trekking:

Personally, my favorite is trekking. It involves a lot of stamina and strength. In this activity you are required to take up a quiet and preferably hilly region and walk up and down a certain distance. The mountains are the best to explore. I had been on such 'expeditions' and the impact is everlasting. You can stand and stare at the beauty of a quiet morning with no buzzing of engines and honking of horns. You walk and take in the purest oxygen energizing your cells and rejuvenating your vigor. The best times of my trekking were when I discovered raw coffee beans, not less than 10 shades of the 'natural' green color, a long train of black ants and their organized activities and definitely making a small bouquet of multicolored wild flowers.

"The Innocent Simplicity"

The Heart is related to many a good and bad things. It is said that we 'feel' emotions and our heart reacts accordingly. Aren't Hearts simple?

Imagine you are a tempting beauty or a handsome eligible bachelor awaiting for an elevator to take you to the top, the 21st floor at your work. You are the 'professional' manager but you can't stop your eyes from scanning a flawless shape in front of you. What happens to your darling little heart? It races and ping-pongs....alright...if not so much it at least skips a beat. The next day your innocent heart takes you a little ahead by letting you wander in the isle of myriad thoughts-it lets you to expect to behold the same captivating face.

My little theory of a Heart is so much evident in so many varied ways. A small child looking at a king size teddy wishes to own it; a smile from a stranger can also lift your spirit sometimes. We do realize when we couch in pain that we need the softness of hand, the warmth of kind consoling words and that special one on whose lap we could sleep painless for hours, yet how often do we let the words of our Hearts speak themselves? This is when the innocent simplicity of hearts is lost. 

We keep ourselves at a distance from every possible difficulty and mostly ruin the existing safety of our own homes. Once I was told by a very wise person that every friend is a potential enemy. I wish fervently to muster up courage to disagree but I have none. I have seen many relationships break over trivial matters, I have seen innocence and simplicity exploited by the ruthless but educated minds and I have also seen struggle for doing what makes one happy.

Sit by me on a simple bench,

Watch the sparrow pick a twig,

I shall pen my life for you,

Live it but hold yours with you;

Let thy heart sing to glory,

A life full of simple joys,

Come breathe in a life with your simple heart's choice!

"A Little Time..!"

When I have a little time,
I shall undo all my tears;
If I have a little time,
I shall forgo all the pain;
I wish I have a little time,
To listen and care.

Time, O! Time,
Long gone like a feather flown;
Give me a break to breathe my own,
Then think of You in spirit good.

I care not for the wind that blows,
I shall fight the gusts of heat;
I will be one day beside you,
Whispering words of sweet content;
And shelter myself in the cool drops of rain!

Traffic

The word essentially meant the exchange of things in trade. For this world of today traffic means just one common thing "the honking of horns, the black smoke off the rear of a car and the sweat accompanying it". As I had mentioned about technology in one of my earlier posts, I would just like to analyze, in the light of my very inexperienced knowledge, life today in times of great "concept" automobile inventions.

As I write this, I hear loud and clear the littlest of noise a passing two wheeler makes. There are two things possible; first, there is utter silence and peace, or, roads clogged with vehicles of all kinds. An automobile is not a bad thing at all especially when it saves you so much time. The misuse, the prolonged misuse and the chronic misuse of it are definitely bad. Your switching off your car's engine and giving it some time to rest during a RED road traffic signal is going to make so much of difference to your car's performance and health of mankind.

I just can't seem to recall how long ago was it peaceful, pollution free and less of ill health of the young ones whom we so well call the 'future of our nation'. Please rethink when the next time you keep your engines roaring without a reason or your car breathes out big gusts of black smoke. I guess none of us would want to spit out black any day!

"When a Storyteller"

When a storyteller tells my story someday faraway,
I will be a shaded star shining dim;
Tell my life like a sonnet sung,
With words of once known faith;
Can't ask for a lotus to be dropped but a jasmine would do my grave.

"?"

The hustle thus created of the silence of ages,
Beating through my ears,
Creating an incomplete crowd,
How; I wonder?

I am the one searching,
Not knowing how much I get;
The joy of being there when lonely crowd surrounds,
Is Huge!

Twittering birds, dancing kids,
Null are the signs of once told facts;
Yielding fruits of an unknown, unborn desire;
Tastes of bitter truth!

"Wrapped"

Wrapped in white cloth,
Closed in a wooden box,
You come like a King,
Yet you don't command!

The little thought of a pure heart

Have we ever wondered what a child imagines the world and people around him to be like? I guess not. In a world too full of 'life made easy' things, I believe we have no time to even think of what we want. Do we want ourselves to have a monotonous life governed and controlled by the click of the non-living mouse or the ring of an instrument singing out loud? Do we have time to remember that we had once been happier to have nothing; when we were kids of age 3 through 5 we did not even bother to eat at times. Let me not generalize but I never bothered about anything.

I remember those days when my mother would give me a glass of milk and I would say a big NOOOOOO; when my brother teased me and I fought him back; when I loved to play the sand and the mud. I know I sound kind of irrational, but it is true; we are not ourselves anymore. We grow up to be fine kids with a good determination to have a decent job, become rich, have a car, own a house and be comfortable in life. Have we ever looked back at our lives and counted the number times we hurt someone dear, the number times we have said NO to a mom's dinner, the number of times we had forgotten our parents' anniversary or the number of times we don't happen to listen to anyone.

You may be thinking I am crazy. Hey! but look at me. Writing a blog with a laptop in hand and the mouse to maneuver. I have started thinking.........

"Return Not"

Mighty the total injustice,
Solitude the adjusting destiny;
I walked seeking,
Seeking for the only star,
Blowing with stormy winds.

Branches have come by,
Breeze of cool life bringing has blown,
Yet the little brook,
Gives itself a tiring break.

Blooms of gardens,
Glows of dim lights,
The shimmering of those little lights on the waters,
A calmness so soothing.

Long times of togetherness with oneself,
They are gone and gone,
With the residue pain of
Never Returning.

"Stay"

Goals huge with gravity,
I know I shall reach,
No boundaries shall restrain
The spirit once instilled.

Thy presence everywhere,
Thy voice so capturing;
Emaciated my very soul,
With breath too cold.

Belief, Faith, Transformation,
O! What thy been?
Soil thee mixed with;
I put mine with thee;

Calmness, Serene,
Stay thee that way.

"Let Free"

With great difficulty,
I tried to adjust
With the lone life I led,
Smiled at the long gathered
   pains and remnants...;
No hope had I,
Nor anticipated,
But-
Spring lay ahead,
Twittering birds, singing brooks
All astonished me!
   Though I, "Could it be true?"
I awoke with a jolt,
Found all the happiness blended...
I gained; one true achievement-
I let free my HEART.

"Unbottled"

Horizon and joy,
Longing and tears,
Beliefs and fear,
All found a voice!

Love and care.
Friendship and friends,
All swim far and near.

Tides of greed,
Blessings of mirth and Bliss;
All captivating the,
Majestic glow of the Warm Sun.

We humans...mortals we are,
Yet turn blind on green Meadows
Deaf and Dumb to the call of time...
When 'unbottled' the mighty heart overflows!

"Bereft"

Mindblowing thoughts,
Increasing heartbeats,
Missed milestones.
  Confused beings,
  Decoded language,
  Ancestors remembered.
Bravery 'sky-high',
Skill undaunted...
Achievements...why?
'Lady Luck" imprisoned;
All too bereft of...am I?

"One Truth"

Wherever you shall be,

My heart beats shall be for you;

Whatever you do,

I shall be to support you;

Whenever you feel lone-

Think of me,

I shall be there to cheer you.

My heart cries with you,

It laughs when you do...

  I weave dreams,

  I think happy thoughts-

  Of love and care-

  Now I do realize-

Dreams are nothing but Dreams.

Fantasies may be lots,

But-only one truth...

New Year !

I had a notion since childhood that New Year is a time when people have lots of parties-dancing, drinking and picnics. I used to have such times when I was a kid. As time passed by and I grew up, things started changing. There was not much going out for parties and dancing. There were responsibilities towards myself and towards family. I have however managed to enjoy every New Beginning of a New Year in my own sweet way. I prefer staying home-quiet, serene and calm-and thinking what can be done different from the past year.

I would like to share an event that may seem so trivial but made great impact on me. A festival or an occasion is always enjoyed with lots of expenditure-decorations, sweets etc etc., only by the lucky few of us who can afford to. I had to go buying groceries on 1st Jan 10; what I noticed that day was something I never noticed earlier. A small vegetable vendor by the road side was still in the same attire, same basket with same vegetables and the same ardent try to attract buyers. What is New Year for her? Maybe selling a quarter kilo more of her vegetables? Or maybe buying a bigger toffee for her child?

I know that we work hard to survive and earning is a part of it. Sometimes though we should think what can be done to give someone, a little less privileged than us, a bit of something that may make their day special or more meaningful.