"Precipice"

The echoing sounds of events past,
The scorching heat of the known day;
The rattling noise of the future ahead,
The non-succumbing Hope;
All in the making of an epic yet untold.

An acceptance of a kind,
A salvation of another;
To the world of murderers,
A victim of mankind;
Living with the spirit of the Lord unseen.

Trampling through the oaks of time,
Ruminating and pondering of deformation;
Known to the very few,
One in the generation;
Stood on the Precipice-

Belonging to a whole new kind!

The Strange Bond...

Almost three decades of breathing life in this world, decades of witnessing coarse despair and littlest of miracles, I wonder at the rate the determination clock actually runs! I have noticed nothing much that the yesteryear's generation must have. I am yet fully convinced that I am not far away from 'saturation'.

The laughter, joy, apparent love (that's in the air among kids around us) is all but at the mercy of tempting wealth and tantalizing beauty called alcohol. Just one fine day, I get a call and someone tells me, "....my girlfriend was out without information?" I ask him where he was and he promptly says, "At the pub.....had a great time ....got sloshed". A logical question is "Then why will she bear with you?" The again "why? should she not stop him?".

I read, I hear and I witness, employees and bosses getting into arguments in a situation so aptly described as 'under influence of alcohol'. I fail to understand the reason behind the destruction we cause ourselves for experiencing 'wild fun'. I am afraid of the evenings now; I walk back home and I fear others. I wasn't this way some 3 years back. I then stop to think "am I getting old?".

I don't understand why I make you friends read such absurd posts but I just can't help it. There seems to be very little good to write. At the thought of that, I smile thinking about the little miracles life holds like my friend's son has started calling me MAAAACHHI (Auntie). To think positive in midst of so much of chaos and misery is difficult. However, I realize the real essence of life is in its struggles, because without them we can never distinguish the good from the bad, love from hatred and cherish the beauty around us.

Just a few minutes.....

Sheen, a ravishing beauty with big blue eyes, splendid smile and fair skin, boarded the train that would take her to a friend's wedding. The train was crowded, with hawkers yelling their best and strangers giving her long shameless stares. Sheen moved forward and finally found her berth. To her respite it was the top berth which meant she could be alone and hiding behind her own thoughts. Little she knew that life had its way of unfolding its mysteries.

It was almost 2 hours of moving in the rhythmic 'chhuk-chhuk' in the cozy little space and she drifted off to the world of fantasies that a young girl of 24 has. Sheen was not always a shy girl but when it came to love, guys and marriage she preferred to keep her secrecy. She wondered how her friend convinced her parents for a love marriage and the happiness that is in store. She thought about how the newly-weds would spend time, cuddling, snuggling, teasing, eating and definitely loving. She wanted her moment of love-the moment that would make her sweat, smile, shiver, numb and yet safe. Suddenly, she awoke to a mess of loud abuses. 

Sheen leaned to look down. To her surprise, a middle aged woman had mistakenly taken a young man's berth and an argument broke out. She thought it best to turn her back and sleep off. Sheen finally awoke at dinner time, sat upright, brushed away her long black hair from her face and opened her eyes. From that moment till the next few minutes, Sheen was in trance. A young boy, aged almost as hers, with a cap on, little beard, not a macho man but not a bamboo stick too, was looking at her with a smile that she couldn't take her eyes off. 

She felt a sensation run down her spine nearly making her immobile. She felt his eyes were scanning her and his smile was an acknowledgement of her tempting beauty. She knew she should cover herself, move her eyes off, never again to make contact so she can be safe. Yet, she could not do any of those. As she kept battling with her own thoughts and unfelt sensations, she knew she was perspiring, she could hear her own heartbeats and definitely knew she was blushing. He moved forward, gave his hand and Sheen held it. She felt so strong and safe. She could see him smile as though he knew what she thought of. She could not believe when he came close, wrapped his arms round her waist and stared into her eyes. She was carried away, he softly brushed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. Sheen could do nothing except kiss him back. It was a moment she never wanted to let go. She hugged him as though for eternity. Just being around him made all the difference. Then the awful thing happened-the train came to a halt and the jerk brought her back.

Sheen was still sitting the way she sat before the kiss happened, and he was sitting there the way she had seen him before the kiss. She knew, she understood and she realized that none of those things had actually happened. Somehow, the feeling was real, the sweat was real and her blush was real. She now tied her hair, drank water and still an awkward unrest existed. How can she feel that about a complete stranger? She glanced at his seat and found him standing and looking up at her. He, for the first time, came close to her ears and whispered, "You are the most beautiful girl I've ever met. I think I fell in love with you for these few minutes. I request you that next time don't brush away your hair off your face. I have reached my destination and will get down now. If I had a chance I would have journeyed my life with you." Sheen had tears filling up her eyes and she could only manage a feeble "Thank You". She couldn't have her dinner that night

Sheen knew what love felt like. It is not important how often you fall in or out of love. It is not important how long you can hold on to love. All that is important is that you fall in love even if it be for a minute, or year or forever. Love gives you a mirror to your own 'can-be' and 'want to be'. It gives you a paradise where nothing goes wrong. Love gives love and demands nothing. Just a few minutes had given Sheen her moment of love and she was expecting better things from life now. She believed in herself and she determined to be stronger. Love just happens!!

"The Chaos"

There is chaos beating through thoughts,
There is chaos in winds across,
A maddening rush in whispered words,
I know it is a careless bickering.

A mindful deed,
A careful word,
A responsible thought,
And the bickering stops.

A vanquished desire,
A banished wish,
A solitude owned,
What Thee demand?
For now,
It is me and my Chaos!

"Entwining"

A twisted tale,
A mixed-up thought,
An imagery of forgotten wishes,
And I sip in my favorite coffee?

The entwining of climbers to its tree,
Brings alive my entwining with a familiar hand.
Twisted and turned are facts and dreams,
Yet, revival of a restless soul!

I had woven tapestries,
Collected each thread of togetherness,
Sewed into permanence;
Alas! its grandeur lost.

Strange trance I fall into,
And happiness envelopes me
Amidst unwanted choices!

"The Scent"

An absurd thought,

A wild craze,

A spirit of the stallion,

What is it that you expect my heart?

Numerous and countless times,

You caused me worry,

This time what is it you want of me?

There was a time when the Scent lured me,

It covered me with a spell,

I loitered blind with obnoxious eyes onlooking,

Yet safe!

I could not let go,

Yes I let it linger on me,

How intoxicating its touch!

No more than a night it lasts;

Like sheets overturned in the morn,

Replacing a memory,

Its effect shifts replacing my companionship.

"What next..?!"

Have you ever been excited about 'what next?'. The anticipation of something good, the adrenaline rush, the mysterious smile, the humming of songs when cooking, the slip of tongues and the OMGs. The entire excitement cycle is a vicious cycle of addiction to good feelings. Vicious as it doesn't let you think about anything else!

The little joys in life always were important to me. I believed that such joys actually make up our lives. The holding of a newborn in my arms, the walking in the drizzle, the bunking of classes, the stolen glances, the shy smile when complimented, the truth & dares, the "wake up dude"s, the coffee spills and so many such events fill up my everyday life. I don't see any other way to describe the best than life gives us. All of us have our own share of joy, grief and troubles but the way we deal with it makes the whole difference. If we don't stop appreciating the beauty that life has in giving us bright colors, fragrance of amazing flowers, the honey bees, the clear rivers and definitely a morning after every night, then life is always beautiful and worth living.

Even today, I am in anticipation of "what next". I think what difference will come about the next moment. What's going to make me happy? Will I hear from him or her? Can I be walking in the rain? I mean I am on the edge every minute. I have begun a small exercise. I wake up in the morning, think of all energy I have and train my mind to think good always. Always to think that whatever happens has something good in store and whatever I do will be good. I have reaped benefits.

Thus, next time you are confused, thoughtful or mindful, close your eyes, smile and think "What next?!". Think good...

"Missing Something"

I have a taste in my memory,
I have an aroma of exotic spices,
Just can't recall what I miss though.

I remember stirring the Kettle,
I remember feeling every little Smoke,
I remember kindling the Fire,
Still I can't recall what I miss.

I remember the two of us,
Weaving dreams which are distant memories now,
Yet your voice strokes me,
And still I can't recall what I miss.

I heard you a little while ago!
Awoke from slumber,
Found an empty dark room,
I felt you move right beside me,
I felt your fingers strumming my face like strings of guitar;
I felt your energy but
What am I missing?

You told me, "I would fulfill your wildest and silliest dreams",
I don't know what they would be though,
Illogically my lips curve,
Forming that perfect shape,
For that beloved smile you want..
And I now know what I miss;

I miss your company,
I miss that belongingness,
I miss that aura of being my true self;
I miss the vessel to complete my recipe!

"The Raw Reality"

'Reality', a word that means a lot to everyone and nothing can be done about it by anyone. We grow up and make friends and then we have stronger relationships. Sometimes in life, we need to ask ourselves where and how has the reality of these relationships settled? At some point of time we start belonging to a relationship or friendship or maybe profession and then it eats on to us and our capacity to bear the pain. It will be the rarest of realities that are happy. We lose ourselves to someone else and then we keep thinking that destiny has made that choice but where did our decision-making power hide? We don't like a dress we choose not to buy it, we throw an old shoe away and eat the food that suits us best then why sometimes we make choices against our own will? That's where we end up hurting ourselves and few others who really care about us.

The brooding over past is definitely a common thing. Girls tend to do that more even though they can come out and get over a difficulty easily. It is because they need to manage the running of a home so they can't stay put at one particular moment. Somehow it is good to think about the actions in past and the consequences that made the present of our lives. We always say that we should live at the present moment but a present wouldn't have existed without a past and future will not if there is no present. It is interrelated how much we try to deny.

If we never made choices even after wanting to then we never get a chance again. We can never get back that day, that moment and that choice of that past time. We may be standing parallel to the same moment but the roads never meet. We try in an effort to revive happiness or revive our souls or make a difference in maybe someone's life, but it never ends well. There will be a kind of remorse and unhappiness about it. Someone if you have hurt is back as the same old friend then believe me it is not the same. If a job comes back to you it may have different responsibilities. The 'coming backs' definitely should get you stronger and leave you with a self-realization never felt before. But sometimes these also come with a price of their own......you can end up making a stupid mistake. The lesson learnt should be never to make a choice without our will and if made never to bring back or retain it or even 'ease' it.

We are meant to live our own lives, but in the process never make another life difficult. We should respect the way we were born, the capabilities we have got and the immense gift of thoughts and ideas. We should never let a moment's joy or grief affect our whole life. Most important, never let go of our own secrets, keep the greatest secrets with ourselves. The secret to a healthy self-respect!

"LILY"

Drained to the last drop of fluid,
A bottle is emptied,
Thrown to unite itself with the rags on the pathways.
The cacophony of a long past eon,
Resound in the dungeons of unwanted memories.
The jittering noise of the many broken empty hearts
Vibes as ripples of shattering broken emptied bottles,
It resembles a familiar noise.
The cynical restless wind blows across
Eroding the softness of a blooming Lily,
It still stands and blooms in Glory,
Defying phantoms of fear and sorry.
O! The majestic splendor
I owe you my destiny.

"A Little Time..!"

When I have a little time,
I shall undo all my tears;
If I have a little time,
I shall forgo all the pain;
I wish I have a little time,
To listen and care.

Time, O! Time,
Long gone like a feather flown;
Give me a break to breathe my own,
Then think of You in spirit good.

I care not for the wind that blows,
I shall fight the gusts of heat;
I will be one day beside you,
Whispering words of sweet content;
And shelter myself in the cool drops of rain!

"Let Free"

With great difficulty,
I tried to adjust
With the lone life I led,
Smiled at the long gathered
   pains and remnants...;
No hope had I,
Nor anticipated,
But-
Spring lay ahead,
Twittering birds, singing brooks
All astonished me!
   Though I, "Could it be true?"
I awoke with a jolt,
Found all the happiness blended...
I gained; one true achievement-
I let free my HEART.

"Unbottled"

Horizon and joy,
Longing and tears,
Beliefs and fear,
All found a voice!

Love and care.
Friendship and friends,
All swim far and near.

Tides of greed,
Blessings of mirth and Bliss;
All captivating the,
Majestic glow of the Warm Sun.

We humans...mortals we are,
Yet turn blind on green Meadows
Deaf and Dumb to the call of time...
When 'unbottled' the mighty heart overflows!

"Bereft"

Mindblowing thoughts,
Increasing heartbeats,
Missed milestones.
  Confused beings,
  Decoded language,
  Ancestors remembered.
Bravery 'sky-high',
Skill undaunted...
Achievements...why?
'Lady Luck" imprisoned;
All too bereft of...am I?

"Surrender"

Joy birds twitter,

Nightingales sing,

Forget-Me-Nots bloom,

I believe I shall bloom once again,

With fragrance unknown,

Colors unseen and

Contentment unfelt.

Faith misses its beats,

Mingling its rhythm with unseen hobgoblins!

Why on earth is not a place,

Where a lone being shall be willing to....Surrender?

Bewildering are the little joys,

But nightmares are its mighty griefs!