"Truth"

No words of wisdom,
No words of self pity;
But words of truth,
That I never spoke to Thee.

Console I did,
Walked out forever;
Swept past a paradise of mirage,
Content I rest now.

Hoped to see Thee,
I did;
Wished it would have been a little while ago,
With your arms stretched for me.

Some miracles happen,
And I happened to you,
Like you did to me;
And we were never to happen.

I am happy that we are happy,
Some after-life we shall be;
As of now-
I bring a soul whole heartedly,
Who could be,
My ultimate gift to me!

Sheen & The Train Boy

Sheen slept the night in unfelt hunger and an emptiness she never understood. The morning dawned and the sun awoke her. It was just a few hours before she would be greeted at the station by her friend. She wondered if there were more surprises awaiting her. 3 hours later she was out of the train and into a car and amongst her sweet friends. They all talked at the same time making it impossible for Sheen to understand anything. They crossed through the crowded streets of Delhi and reached a colorfully decorated house which showed off the fact that a girl was leaving its premises. Sheen had a nice long shower, lunch and then engaged herself in the activities. The evening brought in the moment of expectations of new life, happiness and responsibilities. Unmarried girls thought of alliances to be made at this marriage, grandmothers wanted grandchildren, talks of new faces in the family and "Is the bride happy? Is she beautiful?". Our sweet Sheen could only smile at everything!

It was 10 pm when the 'baraat' arrived. It was the typical Hindu marriage which would go on for almost the night. The hospitality of the baraatis were on when Sheen had to take her turn in serving. An hour later the excitement was less noisy. Sheen found herself a chair and viewed the two souls being tied together forever with strings of vows. She kept visualizing about her marriage, her husband and her life thereafter. Amidst such busyness she was restless. She felt something but had no words to describe. She was quieter than usual; her friends felt she was exhausted and the others didn't know her. The marriage was finally complete and the yesterday's lovers were pronounced man and wife. As rituals go, there were games to be played by the newly weds, there were blessings to be showered and there was fun. It was during games that the bridegroom unveiled his face. The moment which puts Sheen's brain and heart into permanent shock! She had the responsibility to 'host' a game and was sitting facing the couple. When the unveiling took place, she saw, 'the boy in the train' as her friend's husband! "O Lord!, What do I do now?", Sheen prayed silently.

She cursed herself for not meeting him when her friend had arranged for a get together long before the fateful night. She cursed herself for even having imagined something. She cursed herself for being stupid. Sheen excused herself and slipped into her room after the game. She couldn't stop thinking at how he kept his calmness. His red cheeks and strong look at her were enough to let her know he recognized her. She was in dilemma. She did not know if she should go out and face him. She didn't know if he could understand how she had felt the previous evening. She only knew that whatever step she took next would determine her friend's life and that gave her the creeps. Lots of questions arose, "Is he true to her friend? Is he really in love? Is he flirtatious? Will he make passes at her? What should be done? Should she tell her friend?" As her mind was racing through these thoughts she heard a knock on the door. She slowly opened the door and there he was, standing in front of her, smiling and looking. She could hear her own heartbeats, only this time it was fear. What will happen now she thought. He moved into the room and latched the door behind him. Sheen called all the Gods she knew. Sheen felt that he gazed at her form for almost a lifetime before he spoke.

"Hi, I'm Vivek. Let's not pretend we do not know each other. We have been together on the train and something happened. I just came to let you know that you will remain my dream and fantasy. Your friend is my reality and my life. You don't have anything to fear. We are and will never be lovers, right?"

Sheen took her time, thoughts racing and voice stammering. Finally she said "You are right. And I am happy you assure me of my friend's happiness. You can leave this room now and forever. And Congratulations!"

Definitely this was not what she expected to say but it was the truth. She felt something for a moment and found reality to be different. Anything if perceived from different angles can become truth or fantasy. Reality can be made to happen, tailored in a way that suits 'society' wishes best but however truth can be different. She knew her reality, truth and fantasy. Sheen finally knew the beginning and the end of her restlessness. The end of imaginations of 'The Train Boy'. She smiled, and made her way down to bid goodbye to the new weds  and with it towards a better and different life.

Just a few minutes.....

Sheen, a ravishing beauty with big blue eyes, splendid smile and fair skin, boarded the train that would take her to a friend's wedding. The train was crowded, with hawkers yelling their best and strangers giving her long shameless stares. Sheen moved forward and finally found her berth. To her respite it was the top berth which meant she could be alone and hiding behind her own thoughts. Little she knew that life had its way of unfolding its mysteries.

It was almost 2 hours of moving in the rhythmic 'chhuk-chhuk' in the cozy little space and she drifted off to the world of fantasies that a young girl of 24 has. Sheen was not always a shy girl but when it came to love, guys and marriage she preferred to keep her secrecy. She wondered how her friend convinced her parents for a love marriage and the happiness that is in store. She thought about how the newly-weds would spend time, cuddling, snuggling, teasing, eating and definitely loving. She wanted her moment of love-the moment that would make her sweat, smile, shiver, numb and yet safe. Suddenly, she awoke to a mess of loud abuses. 

Sheen leaned to look down. To her surprise, a middle aged woman had mistakenly taken a young man's berth and an argument broke out. She thought it best to turn her back and sleep off. Sheen finally awoke at dinner time, sat upright, brushed away her long black hair from her face and opened her eyes. From that moment till the next few minutes, Sheen was in trance. A young boy, aged almost as hers, with a cap on, little beard, not a macho man but not a bamboo stick too, was looking at her with a smile that she couldn't take her eyes off. 

She felt a sensation run down her spine nearly making her immobile. She felt his eyes were scanning her and his smile was an acknowledgement of her tempting beauty. She knew she should cover herself, move her eyes off, never again to make contact so she can be safe. Yet, she could not do any of those. As she kept battling with her own thoughts and unfelt sensations, she knew she was perspiring, she could hear her own heartbeats and definitely knew she was blushing. He moved forward, gave his hand and Sheen held it. She felt so strong and safe. She could see him smile as though he knew what she thought of. She could not believe when he came close, wrapped his arms round her waist and stared into her eyes. She was carried away, he softly brushed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. Sheen could do nothing except kiss him back. It was a moment she never wanted to let go. She hugged him as though for eternity. Just being around him made all the difference. Then the awful thing happened-the train came to a halt and the jerk brought her back.

Sheen was still sitting the way she sat before the kiss happened, and he was sitting there the way she had seen him before the kiss. She knew, she understood and she realized that none of those things had actually happened. Somehow, the feeling was real, the sweat was real and her blush was real. She now tied her hair, drank water and still an awkward unrest existed. How can she feel that about a complete stranger? She glanced at his seat and found him standing and looking up at her. He, for the first time, came close to her ears and whispered, "You are the most beautiful girl I've ever met. I think I fell in love with you for these few minutes. I request you that next time don't brush away your hair off your face. I have reached my destination and will get down now. If I had a chance I would have journeyed my life with you." Sheen had tears filling up her eyes and she could only manage a feeble "Thank You". She couldn't have her dinner that night

Sheen knew what love felt like. It is not important how often you fall in or out of love. It is not important how long you can hold on to love. All that is important is that you fall in love even if it be for a minute, or year or forever. Love gives you a mirror to your own 'can-be' and 'want to be'. It gives you a paradise where nothing goes wrong. Love gives love and demands nothing. Just a few minutes had given Sheen her moment of love and she was expecting better things from life now. She believed in herself and she determined to be stronger. Love just happens!!

"Beauty"

A fragile fair frame,
A delicate texture,
A graceful glide,
A raw aroma.
The twinkling mischief,
The shielded form,
The innocence.
A writer's pride,
A poet's bride,
A painter's colored eye.
Beauty, you are so varied!

I look you in the eye,
I transform into you,
When Thee praises me.
I see you in an admirer's look,
I feel you in the winter's chill,
I love you in my very being.

Beauty, you are so very mine.
I hold you,
I will keep you safe
In every moment's Faith.

"A Lovebite talks to me!"

A wonderful small dark patch,
Look alike of a bruise,
A closer look
And I knew it was indeed a Lovebite!
It flaunted its depth,
It flaunted the care,
It talked of its being,

"I was not caused by harm,

I wasn't meant to be there hanging,

Staring into your eyes.

I am there to reveal you,

I am there to conceal little wishes,

I am there to mesmerize you,

I am there to love you!"

A little more was said,

A little more was understood.

I turned on my side,

I kissed it light,

And it smiled.

I heard some chirping,

Warmth I felt,

I sat upright,

Only to realize,

I was dreaming throughout the night...!

"A Conspiracy"

In my porch is an armchair,

I sit and sip my Black Coffee without Sugar,

Tasteless yet lively.

I hear the evening birds heading home,

I hear the trees humming a lullaby,

I smell a sandy fragrance.

I am restless with the setting sun,

My thoughts are not coherent,

The cacophony of the evening,

Settling my nerves with stagnant blood.

Is this a joyous moment?

Or is this Thy magnitude?

Unveil, unleash and bare,

A Conspiracy of sweetness you withhold.

"LILY"

Drained to the last drop of fluid,
A bottle is emptied,
Thrown to unite itself with the rags on the pathways.
The cacophony of a long past eon,
Resound in the dungeons of unwanted memories.
The jittering noise of the many broken empty hearts
Vibes as ripples of shattering broken emptied bottles,
It resembles a familiar noise.
The cynical restless wind blows across
Eroding the softness of a blooming Lily,
It still stands and blooms in Glory,
Defying phantoms of fear and sorry.
O! The majestic splendor
I owe you my destiny.

"The Innocent Simplicity"

The Heart is related to many a good and bad things. It is said that we 'feel' emotions and our heart reacts accordingly. Aren't Hearts simple?

Imagine you are a tempting beauty or a handsome eligible bachelor awaiting for an elevator to take you to the top, the 21st floor at your work. You are the 'professional' manager but you can't stop your eyes from scanning a flawless shape in front of you. What happens to your darling little heart? It races and ping-pongs....alright...if not so much it at least skips a beat. The next day your innocent heart takes you a little ahead by letting you wander in the isle of myriad thoughts-it lets you to expect to behold the same captivating face.

My little theory of a Heart is so much evident in so many varied ways. A small child looking at a king size teddy wishes to own it; a smile from a stranger can also lift your spirit sometimes. We do realize when we couch in pain that we need the softness of hand, the warmth of kind consoling words and that special one on whose lap we could sleep painless for hours, yet how often do we let the words of our Hearts speak themselves? This is when the innocent simplicity of hearts is lost. 

We keep ourselves at a distance from every possible difficulty and mostly ruin the existing safety of our own homes. Once I was told by a very wise person that every friend is a potential enemy. I wish fervently to muster up courage to disagree but I have none. I have seen many relationships break over trivial matters, I have seen innocence and simplicity exploited by the ruthless but educated minds and I have also seen struggle for doing what makes one happy.

Sit by me on a simple bench,

Watch the sparrow pick a twig,

I shall pen my life for you,

Live it but hold yours with you;

Let thy heart sing to glory,

A life full of simple joys,

Come breathe in a life with your simple heart's choice!

"Wrapped"

Wrapped in white cloth,
Closed in a wooden box,
You come like a King,
Yet you don't command!

"Return Not"

Mighty the total injustice,
Solitude the adjusting destiny;
I walked seeking,
Seeking for the only star,
Blowing with stormy winds.

Branches have come by,
Breeze of cool life bringing has blown,
Yet the little brook,
Gives itself a tiring break.

Blooms of gardens,
Glows of dim lights,
The shimmering of those little lights on the waters,
A calmness so soothing.

Long times of togetherness with oneself,
They are gone and gone,
With the residue pain of
Never Returning.

"Stay"

Goals huge with gravity,
I know I shall reach,
No boundaries shall restrain
The spirit once instilled.

Thy presence everywhere,
Thy voice so capturing;
Emaciated my very soul,
With breath too cold.

Belief, Faith, Transformation,
O! What thy been?
Soil thee mixed with;
I put mine with thee;

Calmness, Serene,
Stay thee that way.

"One Truth"

Wherever you shall be,

My heart beats shall be for you;

Whatever you do,

I shall be to support you;

Whenever you feel lone-

Think of me,

I shall be there to cheer you.

My heart cries with you,

It laughs when you do...

  I weave dreams,

  I think happy thoughts-

  Of love and care-

  Now I do realize-

Dreams are nothing but Dreams.

Fantasies may be lots,

But-only one truth...

"Hold Me"

I expected and dreamt,
I weaved garlands,
But knew not whom-
  and where to gift;
All whom I care for-
Seem away and distant.
  I long to get back to those days,
  But am anchored...
  I see a ray,
  I feel the heat and warmth-
  But do not know of what.
Show me the way,
I am lost;
Hold Me,
I feel cold!

"Truly Yours"

All day long,
I roam alone,
I run the race;
All night long,
I seek,
I yearn,
For-
A single race I can win,
A single path where,
    alone I am not;
I find a hope-
  Hope that I still hold tight,
  A dream I still adore;
  An attribute to my own being...
  I clone myself into serenity!
  An ethereal calm dawns over me,
  An intoxicating fragrance captivates me,
  Helter skelter my calm of mind goes.
I can discover...
I have understood why-
  Because truly I am yours!