"Wax With"

Hello, hello and hello,
A ring on the ringing bell,
Yet a song on its own.

A blend of genes unique,
Sounding aloud with mystic spice,
Loving the entry of life,
Spark by spark of ecstasy.

Long live the world of,
Belongingness to you,
Breath by breath I melt
To wax with you!

"CELEBRATE"

A chaos of clattering engines,
Sounding into the veins,
Glares of onlookers,
Screening through the body wrap.

I stand still and absorb,
Glowing with a rage of uncertainty,
Bonding with a flesh,
Echoing with hearts.

I see a face,
Known yet unknown,
Spirit of the same kind,
Love of the same force,
Love of an eon ago,
Yet ready to love again-
Youth, Cacophony, Mirth and Congruence !

"Waxed"

A nonchalant procedure,
A careful approach,
No awful mysteries,
Silence reading through!
Feelings.

The tired eyes,
The smiling face,
A contradiction composed,
Inability to come through!
Weakness.

Empowering, magnifying,
All in vain,
Standstill to watch it fade,
Fastest than it ever did.
Soul!

Waxed to fate, it stands lifeless.

Overwhelmed by an honest feeling of pride

It has been ages of feeling truly proud of anyone other than family.
Success is manifold. You are successful only when all dimensions-professional, social, emotional and financial-are strong and a continual joy flows in. Witnessing such a story and dream of my own for someone known has finally met its first milestone.

I handed over a few dreams to a friend some 5 years back. I took a solemn promise to keep following if the dreams are shaping up. In due course, all have fallen into place and today the bliss of family, friends and profession in true harmony has given rise to the founding of a new Company. Neither am I connected nor an employee but am a complete well wisher of my friend and his Company.

It is the most honest feeling I am experiencing after motherhood. God Bless....

"Long Enough.."

Long enough...waited for,
Seen an age of changing perceptions,
Lost a lot many views,
Unwilling to give up more.

Clinging onto a cliff,
Ready for a plunge
An overwhelming desire,
Cannot let go.

Am for,
I was,
And the mighty sky mocking,
I am reborn smiling back at it.

Come and get me,
Only when once you bow to me...Long Enough.!

"Online Booking"

A thought into the spread of words,
A smile at the vivid clarity,
A wish so honest,
And the encapsulating world into mine.

How does the Almighty play?
How entangled the paths get,
Limping and laughing at the sarcasm of Time;
Yet happy with the lonely feeling.

Yes, the Online booking at the Lord's desk,
May such strings be available to the human race,
An enchanted, blissful world thus will be,
With pure joy and love on the brink always.

May the wishes of thy little heart
Be filled with joy this very life,
By mingling with the like alike,
An unknown life I shall not guarantee.!!!

The Disappearing Me!

Hi There,

Those few of you who have read me, appreciated me and encouraged me, a sincere note of thanks and an announcement of revival of my spirit of writing after a hibernation into Motherhood, with a super naughty daughter of 21 months old now.

I shall begin with the most divine and true bond - motherhood. I am emotional, 'senti' as some say, about life, people and relations. I am blessed to be a lady, I am saying this and accept it wholeheartedly now, only after my daughter is born. Bearing her for 9 months, going through labor and holding such a masterpiece-Life  in itself is an unparalleled joy. Being of the female kind....yes....facing the odd that one has to-eve-teasing, doting admirers, crushes, love hate relations- parental disagreement ...oohh there are lots, everything just changed overnight. I started teaching myself to love myself. Cleaning, bathing, worrying, shouting, fighting, pampering as all mothers do I started learning the other side of life.

Being the first teacher of my child.! Can you imagine the responsibility we hold? It shocks me - I worry and prepare for her future. I have totally lost sense and desire for my own. I am everything today to safeguard her. How amazing! She knows Mom's around and she takes me for granted. A zillion thanks and gratitude to that super father of my daughter who has lived through all my pains throughout our togetherness. He has listened to, talked about and taken care of every craving of mine and definitely his life-his daughter.

Father is the strength and diplomacy that a child looks up to and mother is the all time granted love affair..!!

"Truth"

No words of wisdom,
No words of self pity;
But words of truth,
That I never spoke to Thee.

Console I did,
Walked out forever;
Swept past a paradise of mirage,
Content I rest now.

Hoped to see Thee,
I did;
Wished it would have been a little while ago,
With your arms stretched for me.

Some miracles happen,
And I happened to you,
Like you did to me;
And we were never to happen.

I am happy that we are happy,
Some after-life we shall be;
As of now-
I bring a soul whole heartedly,
Who could be,
My ultimate gift to me!

"The Recycling"

The winding ways of a terrain unknown,
Blessings from strangers,
Knowing not why new blooms smile,
The older ones mock at me!

I have left the Thought,
I have waived off my right,
Aggression for a simple security,
Lord not beside me!

When I live the afterlife,
May my voice be loud,
May the shadows of the life left,
Pass by like the year's seasons.

Sheen & The Train Boy

Sheen slept the night in unfelt hunger and an emptiness she never understood. The morning dawned and the sun awoke her. It was just a few hours before she would be greeted at the station by her friend. She wondered if there were more surprises awaiting her. 3 hours later she was out of the train and into a car and amongst her sweet friends. They all talked at the same time making it impossible for Sheen to understand anything. They crossed through the crowded streets of Delhi and reached a colorfully decorated house which showed off the fact that a girl was leaving its premises. Sheen had a nice long shower, lunch and then engaged herself in the activities. The evening brought in the moment of expectations of new life, happiness and responsibilities. Unmarried girls thought of alliances to be made at this marriage, grandmothers wanted grandchildren, talks of new faces in the family and "Is the bride happy? Is she beautiful?". Our sweet Sheen could only smile at everything!

It was 10 pm when the 'baraat' arrived. It was the typical Hindu marriage which would go on for almost the night. The hospitality of the baraatis were on when Sheen had to take her turn in serving. An hour later the excitement was less noisy. Sheen found herself a chair and viewed the two souls being tied together forever with strings of vows. She kept visualizing about her marriage, her husband and her life thereafter. Amidst such busyness she was restless. She felt something but had no words to describe. She was quieter than usual; her friends felt she was exhausted and the others didn't know her. The marriage was finally complete and the yesterday's lovers were pronounced man and wife. As rituals go, there were games to be played by the newly weds, there were blessings to be showered and there was fun. It was during games that the bridegroom unveiled his face. The moment which puts Sheen's brain and heart into permanent shock! She had the responsibility to 'host' a game and was sitting facing the couple. When the unveiling took place, she saw, 'the boy in the train' as her friend's husband! "O Lord!, What do I do now?", Sheen prayed silently.

She cursed herself for not meeting him when her friend had arranged for a get together long before the fateful night. She cursed herself for even having imagined something. She cursed herself for being stupid. Sheen excused herself and slipped into her room after the game. She couldn't stop thinking at how he kept his calmness. His red cheeks and strong look at her were enough to let her know he recognized her. She was in dilemma. She did not know if she should go out and face him. She didn't know if he could understand how she had felt the previous evening. She only knew that whatever step she took next would determine her friend's life and that gave her the creeps. Lots of questions arose, "Is he true to her friend? Is he really in love? Is he flirtatious? Will he make passes at her? What should be done? Should she tell her friend?" As her mind was racing through these thoughts she heard a knock on the door. She slowly opened the door and there he was, standing in front of her, smiling and looking. She could hear her own heartbeats, only this time it was fear. What will happen now she thought. He moved into the room and latched the door behind him. Sheen called all the Gods she knew. Sheen felt that he gazed at her form for almost a lifetime before he spoke.

"Hi, I'm Vivek. Let's not pretend we do not know each other. We have been together on the train and something happened. I just came to let you know that you will remain my dream and fantasy. Your friend is my reality and my life. You don't have anything to fear. We are and will never be lovers, right?"

Sheen took her time, thoughts racing and voice stammering. Finally she said "You are right. And I am happy you assure me of my friend's happiness. You can leave this room now and forever. And Congratulations!"

Definitely this was not what she expected to say but it was the truth. She felt something for a moment and found reality to be different. Anything if perceived from different angles can become truth or fantasy. Reality can be made to happen, tailored in a way that suits 'society' wishes best but however truth can be different. She knew her reality, truth and fantasy. Sheen finally knew the beginning and the end of her restlessness. The end of imaginations of 'The Train Boy'. She smiled, and made her way down to bid goodbye to the new weds  and with it towards a better and different life.

Just a few minutes.....

Sheen, a ravishing beauty with big blue eyes, splendid smile and fair skin, boarded the train that would take her to a friend's wedding. The train was crowded, with hawkers yelling their best and strangers giving her long shameless stares. Sheen moved forward and finally found her berth. To her respite it was the top berth which meant she could be alone and hiding behind her own thoughts. Little she knew that life had its way of unfolding its mysteries.

It was almost 2 hours of moving in the rhythmic 'chhuk-chhuk' in the cozy little space and she drifted off to the world of fantasies that a young girl of 24 has. Sheen was not always a shy girl but when it came to love, guys and marriage she preferred to keep her secrecy. She wondered how her friend convinced her parents for a love marriage and the happiness that is in store. She thought about how the newly-weds would spend time, cuddling, snuggling, teasing, eating and definitely loving. She wanted her moment of love-the moment that would make her sweat, smile, shiver, numb and yet safe. Suddenly, she awoke to a mess of loud abuses. 

Sheen leaned to look down. To her surprise, a middle aged woman had mistakenly taken a young man's berth and an argument broke out. She thought it best to turn her back and sleep off. Sheen finally awoke at dinner time, sat upright, brushed away her long black hair from her face and opened her eyes. From that moment till the next few minutes, Sheen was in trance. A young boy, aged almost as hers, with a cap on, little beard, not a macho man but not a bamboo stick too, was looking at her with a smile that she couldn't take her eyes off. 

She felt a sensation run down her spine nearly making her immobile. She felt his eyes were scanning her and his smile was an acknowledgement of her tempting beauty. She knew she should cover herself, move her eyes off, never again to make contact so she can be safe. Yet, she could not do any of those. As she kept battling with her own thoughts and unfelt sensations, she knew she was perspiring, she could hear her own heartbeats and definitely knew she was blushing. He moved forward, gave his hand and Sheen held it. She felt so strong and safe. She could see him smile as though he knew what she thought of. She could not believe when he came close, wrapped his arms round her waist and stared into her eyes. She was carried away, he softly brushed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. Sheen could do nothing except kiss him back. It was a moment she never wanted to let go. She hugged him as though for eternity. Just being around him made all the difference. Then the awful thing happened-the train came to a halt and the jerk brought her back.

Sheen was still sitting the way she sat before the kiss happened, and he was sitting there the way she had seen him before the kiss. She knew, she understood and she realized that none of those things had actually happened. Somehow, the feeling was real, the sweat was real and her blush was real. She now tied her hair, drank water and still an awkward unrest existed. How can she feel that about a complete stranger? She glanced at his seat and found him standing and looking up at her. He, for the first time, came close to her ears and whispered, "You are the most beautiful girl I've ever met. I think I fell in love with you for these few minutes. I request you that next time don't brush away your hair off your face. I have reached my destination and will get down now. If I had a chance I would have journeyed my life with you." Sheen had tears filling up her eyes and she could only manage a feeble "Thank You". She couldn't have her dinner that night

Sheen knew what love felt like. It is not important how often you fall in or out of love. It is not important how long you can hold on to love. All that is important is that you fall in love even if it be for a minute, or year or forever. Love gives you a mirror to your own 'can-be' and 'want to be'. It gives you a paradise where nothing goes wrong. Love gives love and demands nothing. Just a few minutes had given Sheen her moment of love and she was expecting better things from life now. She believed in herself and she determined to be stronger. Love just happens!!

"Beauty"

A fragile fair frame,
A delicate texture,
A graceful glide,
A raw aroma.
The twinkling mischief,
The shielded form,
The innocence.
A writer's pride,
A poet's bride,
A painter's colored eye.
Beauty, you are so varied!

I look you in the eye,
I transform into you,
When Thee praises me.
I see you in an admirer's look,
I feel you in the winter's chill,
I love you in my very being.

Beauty, you are so very mine.
I hold you,
I will keep you safe
In every moment's Faith.

"My Habib"

A word of truth,

A touch of magic,

A magnificent sculpture;

I am touched by your purity,

I am strengthened by your will,

I am in mirth of confidence.

You caressed my forehead,

It felt like paradise;

You lifted me,

I felt so light;

You gazed into my eyes,

And made me yours forever.

Your smile brightens my life,

Your wit keeps me going,

Your love keeps me breathing.

What more can I say?

How more can I describe?

Thee, my Habib.

"Entwining"

A twisted tale,
A mixed-up thought,
An imagery of forgotten wishes,
And I sip in my favorite coffee?

The entwining of climbers to its tree,
Brings alive my entwining with a familiar hand.
Twisted and turned are facts and dreams,
Yet, revival of a restless soul!

I had woven tapestries,
Collected each thread of togetherness,
Sewed into permanence;
Alas! its grandeur lost.

Strange trance I fall into,
And happiness envelopes me
Amidst unwanted choices!

"A Lovebite talks to me!"

A wonderful small dark patch,
Look alike of a bruise,
A closer look
And I knew it was indeed a Lovebite!
It flaunted its depth,
It flaunted the care,
It talked of its being,

"I was not caused by harm,

I wasn't meant to be there hanging,

Staring into your eyes.

I am there to reveal you,

I am there to conceal little wishes,

I am there to mesmerize you,

I am there to love you!"

A little more was said,

A little more was understood.

I turned on my side,

I kissed it light,

And it smiled.

I heard some chirping,

Warmth I felt,

I sat upright,

Only to realize,

I was dreaming throughout the night...!

"A Conspiracy"

In my porch is an armchair,

I sit and sip my Black Coffee without Sugar,

Tasteless yet lively.

I hear the evening birds heading home,

I hear the trees humming a lullaby,

I smell a sandy fragrance.

I am restless with the setting sun,

My thoughts are not coherent,

The cacophony of the evening,

Settling my nerves with stagnant blood.

Is this a joyous moment?

Or is this Thy magnitude?

Unveil, unleash and bare,

A Conspiracy of sweetness you withhold.

"The Numbness of Voidness"

The chaotic ambiance,
The hustle of restless winds,
The impregnable persona,
O! The great Voidness.

Engulfing my purity,
Chomping through,
Creating a Bliss though.

Stillness yet roughness,
Casualty of an imagination,
Ascent of the goblins,
Fierce in its creative destruction.

Incandescence, volatile, catalytic,
The grotesque sprinkles of rain,
Feeling through my body,
Like lips of an unappeased lover,
Cuddling and fondling.

Impact of the wilderness,
I wonder if I were borne by,
The pregnant enigmatic Void!

Success, Relationships & An Attitude

A little showering of "heavenly manna" on my ever thirsty knowledge buds is working wild on me! I had been noticing, since I am at home and have quite a free time, that priorities in life change so frequently. When we were kids, the only thought on our minds was to pass every exam and not fail. We grew up and became teenagers. O Lord! 5 years of fun, friendship, crushes, studies, bikes, guitars, beers and blunders. We tend to give importance to everything and manage to pass through everything. Little do we realize the impact on our lives later. Then comes the age of real tensions--jobs, serious relationships, break-ups, fights, changing of jobs, harder drinks and all in all rat race. And we think it would have been better if we would have done this or that a little earlier in life. Yet these things happen to everyone and there's nothing much to worry about it. Life and its due course depends on what interests you most. To set it in place you just need to understand your capabilities and doesn't take much time if you are determined to.

I remember doing some "guiding" sessions since I was in 12th. If I would have taken that professionally I guess I would have been one of the best counselors in the country! If you look at life minutely you will realize that success and relationships are difficult to handle together. More success and growth demands more time and relationships get strained. Rather some relationships start suffocating. I have seen people ignore others just for the fun of having some bunch of non-serious good-for-nothings for socializing. I guess that doesn't justify success. And yet some others ignore for the fear of unveiling some age old truth that might hamper things at present. I know it sounds funny but you can't run away from life and its truth.

A good and calm life requires a change in attitude. You need to understand that acceptance of every failure makes it easier to learn. You don't need to talk about it but just accept it for yourself to live well. Never miss an opportunity to do something that you had longed for. An absolute abstinence from fun, truth and adventure ruins your brain power to achieve new heights. Your attitude should hold something positive for every action of yours. Life brings an island of myriad opportunities to travel around time and undo or do things that you want, only and if only, you know where and how much priority everything holds. Never be callous but be calculative.

If the right attitude is formed then everything else sets right! Stop thinking about what could have been and take advantage of what you can make it right now!

"An Evening in the Countryside"

Naughty drizzle,
Shimmering lights far away,
Rusted roofs,
Singing crickets,
Amidst these is a narrow road:
A dusty road,
With a longing look,
Carrying me to the woods of crazy wishes.

I stand by its side,
Stare at the empty vastness,
Yet feel the whispering love,
Of the million living laughing branches.

I wish I were a little bird,
I would have flown from tree to tree,
I would have kissed every leaf,
I would have lived a loving night every night
And slept in the arms of the evening moon light.

Alas! I am human,
Need to go back to where I come from,
I need to be me at the end;
And waiting for another evening in the countryside.

"LILY"

Drained to the last drop of fluid,
A bottle is emptied,
Thrown to unite itself with the rags on the pathways.
The cacophony of a long past eon,
Resound in the dungeons of unwanted memories.
The jittering noise of the many broken empty hearts
Vibes as ripples of shattering broken emptied bottles,
It resembles a familiar noise.
The cynical restless wind blows across
Eroding the softness of a blooming Lily,
It still stands and blooms in Glory,
Defying phantoms of fear and sorry.
O! The majestic splendor
I owe you my destiny.