"Conviction"

A trouble to face within,
A cacophony of desires;
Wishes encompassing,
A choice unparalleled;
How do I know?
Where do I go?

A conviction of the known kind,
Dreams woven of the right kind;
Little joys, hidden insanity;
Tapping onto craze,
Haze of the uttermost peace;
Restless tides!

Not more like the bustling North winds;
Even more like the warming bonfire,
Coinciding, mingling, rhythmic beat,
A heart with the other:
Soul completing the other.

Mine to be;
Yet prone to fall far;
Break free, bond free
Salvation to the other world! 

"Art of Symphony"

None like the other,

Yet similar,

Words surpassing effort,

Congruence of energies;

Leaves of the same kind.

Turning into prime age,

Twisting into meandering paths,

Seeking a distant chaos;

Enabling a longing Perfection!

Symphony of the same rejoiced.

"CELEBRATE"

A chaos of clattering engines,
Sounding into the veins,
Glares of onlookers,
Screening through the body wrap.

I stand still and absorb,
Glowing with a rage of uncertainty,
Bonding with a flesh,
Echoing with hearts.

I see a face,
Known yet unknown,
Spirit of the same kind,
Love of the same force,
Love of an eon ago,
Yet ready to love again-
Youth, Cacophony, Mirth and Congruence !

"Waxed"

A nonchalant procedure,
A careful approach,
No awful mysteries,
Silence reading through!
Feelings.

The tired eyes,
The smiling face,
A contradiction composed,
Inability to come through!
Weakness.

Empowering, magnifying,
All in vain,
Standstill to watch it fade,
Fastest than it ever did.
Soul!

Waxed to fate, it stands lifeless.

Hypocrisy, white walls, red colors...-Life's too big a word!

Who am I? What am I? How am I? Where am I? When will I be? ....Gosh...all the I's together make our lives. Sincerely, for me Life's too big a word and a bigger jungle of everything. Should I worry on commenting on politics or get ruled by it? Should I worry about the blood red Paris and the tit for tat and a loss of lives and the pool of red color? Should I worry about the real India or the reel India? Where is my daughter growing up?

She is 2 years and 2 months, I am thinking of a play school by next month. Now I wonder how will I grow her up? What should I teach her? Intolerance, politics, hypocrisy, falsehood, hatred or am I doing the right thing by teaching her simple Humanity--embracing humans not a 'religion-al' object?

I am over 30 and I have seen quite as much I need to was what I thought when I got married but as days are passing by I realize that age has nothing to do with experiences and learning. All my knowledge fails when I behold others! I do not understand anything, I stand speechless and a complete jackass to conversation.

Each one of us have our shares of joy and grief but then why be so aloud to eat up lives? I can't kill a cockroach....I wonder how people kill for petty things. The other side-----do we have so much of poverty? Or is the laze of everyone in, out or under poverty for not working when every limb seems to be working? Another side probably is the power hungry mass of jerks who definitely could sell their mothers, wives, daughters and everybody just to be on the 'right to order' position. I am amazed. God Bless the generation that has yet to learn ABCD.

I put a little question to myself --" Should I stop being good because the other is not?".....I 'd definitely not. That doesn't mean I would allow morons to eat up my life..!

"Long Enough.."

Long enough...waited for,
Seen an age of changing perceptions,
Lost a lot many views,
Unwilling to give up more.

Clinging onto a cliff,
Ready for a plunge
An overwhelming desire,
Cannot let go.

Am for,
I was,
And the mighty sky mocking,
I am reborn smiling back at it.

Come and get me,
Only when once you bow to me...Long Enough.!

"Online Booking"

A thought into the spread of words,
A smile at the vivid clarity,
A wish so honest,
And the encapsulating world into mine.

How does the Almighty play?
How entangled the paths get,
Limping and laughing at the sarcasm of Time;
Yet happy with the lonely feeling.

Yes, the Online booking at the Lord's desk,
May such strings be available to the human race,
An enchanted, blissful world thus will be,
With pure joy and love on the brink always.

May the wishes of thy little heart
Be filled with joy this very life,
By mingling with the like alike,
An unknown life I shall not guarantee.!!!

The Disappearing Me!

Hi There,

Those few of you who have read me, appreciated me and encouraged me, a sincere note of thanks and an announcement of revival of my spirit of writing after a hibernation into Motherhood, with a super naughty daughter of 21 months old now.

I shall begin with the most divine and true bond - motherhood. I am emotional, 'senti' as some say, about life, people and relations. I am blessed to be a lady, I am saying this and accept it wholeheartedly now, only after my daughter is born. Bearing her for 9 months, going through labor and holding such a masterpiece-Life  in itself is an unparalleled joy. Being of the female kind....yes....facing the odd that one has to-eve-teasing, doting admirers, crushes, love hate relations- parental disagreement ...oohh there are lots, everything just changed overnight. I started teaching myself to love myself. Cleaning, bathing, worrying, shouting, fighting, pampering as all mothers do I started learning the other side of life.

Being the first teacher of my child.! Can you imagine the responsibility we hold? It shocks me - I worry and prepare for her future. I have totally lost sense and desire for my own. I am everything today to safeguard her. How amazing! She knows Mom's around and she takes me for granted. A zillion thanks and gratitude to that super father of my daughter who has lived through all my pains throughout our togetherness. He has listened to, talked about and taken care of every craving of mine and definitely his life-his daughter.

Father is the strength and diplomacy that a child looks up to and mother is the all time granted love affair..!!

"Ancient"

A word heard a long ago,

A few thoughts emerged a long ago,

A few dreams were dreamt a long ago,

All but ancient history.

Knew not I factors of today,

Knew not I of change-a must today,

Mind set restless at boundaries,

Some peace of solitude yet achieved.

"Precipice"

The echoing sounds of events past,
The scorching heat of the known day;
The rattling noise of the future ahead,
The non-succumbing Hope;
All in the making of an epic yet untold.

An acceptance of a kind,
A salvation of another;
To the world of murderers,
A victim of mankind;
Living with the spirit of the Lord unseen.

Trampling through the oaks of time,
Ruminating and pondering of deformation;
Known to the very few,
One in the generation;
Stood on the Precipice-

Belonging to a whole new kind!

"Truth"

No words of wisdom,
No words of self pity;
But words of truth,
That I never spoke to Thee.

Console I did,
Walked out forever;
Swept past a paradise of mirage,
Content I rest now.

Hoped to see Thee,
I did;
Wished it would have been a little while ago,
With your arms stretched for me.

Some miracles happen,
And I happened to you,
Like you did to me;
And we were never to happen.

I am happy that we are happy,
Some after-life we shall be;
As of now-
I bring a soul whole heartedly,
Who could be,
My ultimate gift to me!

The Strange Bond...

Almost three decades of breathing life in this world, decades of witnessing coarse despair and littlest of miracles, I wonder at the rate the determination clock actually runs! I have noticed nothing much that the yesteryear's generation must have. I am yet fully convinced that I am not far away from 'saturation'.

The laughter, joy, apparent love (that's in the air among kids around us) is all but at the mercy of tempting wealth and tantalizing beauty called alcohol. Just one fine day, I get a call and someone tells me, "....my girlfriend was out without information?" I ask him where he was and he promptly says, "At the pub.....had a great time ....got sloshed". A logical question is "Then why will she bear with you?" The again "why? should she not stop him?".

I read, I hear and I witness, employees and bosses getting into arguments in a situation so aptly described as 'under influence of alcohol'. I fail to understand the reason behind the destruction we cause ourselves for experiencing 'wild fun'. I am afraid of the evenings now; I walk back home and I fear others. I wasn't this way some 3 years back. I then stop to think "am I getting old?".

I don't understand why I make you friends read such absurd posts but I just can't help it. There seems to be very little good to write. At the thought of that, I smile thinking about the little miracles life holds like my friend's son has started calling me MAAAACHHI (Auntie). To think positive in midst of so much of chaos and misery is difficult. However, I realize the real essence of life is in its struggles, because without them we can never distinguish the good from the bad, love from hatred and cherish the beauty around us.

The Makeover

A little girl, growing up in the spirited and overprotective world of her family, giving in for quite a few years to their choices and then one day breaking free. She flew past with hopes of making her own destiny, doing her duties and letting go of small dreams. Yes, she dreamed of being someone unique, doing unique and even thinking unique. She found early love, but was a pain disguise. She found yet another love that showed her the potential she held within, she found in him 'the other she that she could have been'. They shared laughter, tears, torments, dreams, wish-lists, food, rain, hunger, anger and probably everything that made it almost complete. Yet, circumstances made her part ways and recline to a world she thought she would never belong to.

She made her choice, she won't give up, she will find a way to hold on. She held on to her faith that someday, if some afterlife exists, she will be complete with success, choices and love regained. She vowed her life and loyalty to her spouse. Her spouse being the only one who has ever loved her unconditionally. He holds conditions for a better living, higher thinking and making no mistakes. For his love she survives, dreams, and writes. They argue, they abuse, they laugh, they cry  but they love their love. She realized only after tying the knot that she has transformed into someone she can't understand but someone who is not afraid of anything anymore. She loves this about her now. She wants to pass on her knowledge of experiences to a new soul, whether born to her or another.

Is this a common story? Is this such a reality that we don't pay respect to even a thought at it? Is it always for the good? Yes, when life starts it does not guarantee happiness. It is we within who make every moment what we want it to be. Do we understand where we should bar ambitions, dreams and happiness? Now, if all are allowed to live their own thoughts, then most of us will become anti-social, agreed. Full stop. I guess it is a never ending process of loss and gain.

"The Recycling"

The winding ways of a terrain unknown,
Blessings from strangers,
Knowing not why new blooms smile,
The older ones mock at me!

I have left the Thought,
I have waived off my right,
Aggression for a simple security,
Lord not beside me!

When I live the afterlife,
May my voice be loud,
May the shadows of the life left,
Pass by like the year's seasons.

Me, Mom & My Mirror

I look at you and wonder about my life. You speak to me and I listen as I listen to my own words. I am awestruck at how you encourage me at being myself-the adamant, straightforward, bull-headed spirit that I am. I fail to understand why you aren't me!

Mom, an imagination for those who are bereft of her, purest love for those who have her and tearfully happy memories for those who are far away. For me, you are my greatest strength despite differences. I wasn’t away when you assumed I was, I wasn’t heartless when you wept and I wasn’t rude when I was harsh on you. Your pain was my pain and all I try is banishing it.

My Mirror speaks to me of my failures, consoles me for losses and loves me for smiles. I ponder over the unseen reason behind my joy at seeing myself. I then realize, I am an image of my beloved Mom with a few alterations. I love when my Mirror throws a wicked smile when I am naughty; she knows darn well what runs on my little brain.

O Mom, you are my mirror and my Mirror says so to me. Why then few times the image breaks?

"Rainbow"

A serene beauty,
Walking down the starry way;
Reclaiming the various colors,
Losing the purified clarity.

Among the melancholy of the crowd,
She exists with a smile so convincing;
I lose thought of the present,
Losing my own sanity.

My little child of respected choices,
Breathing among a hundred losses;
Yet shining with its mother's might,
Paving a soft path for the masses.

Smiles showered from my own!

"Unexpected"

O my Soul, do you know me?
Have you looked me in the eye?
Has it been your habit to shun me?
Or, is it a pretext for the unexpected?

I've been yours ever since my first breath,
I've been a child of your magnitude,
I've been your image for the unknown,
And now, I am the Unexpected? !

Nor loving you for what you are,
Neither hating you for my existence;
A love you are of the unexpected kind,
A love I am not destined to love.

You are me of the other kind,
And yet you aren't me!

"Engulf..."

Fearful lustrous glow,
Glorifying the entire globe,
Illusions of a mirth,
Engulfing the sweet child.

Serene benign disguised,
Thee walk in and burgle,
Leaving behind your odor,
Stimulation of dislike and horror!

The Satan's own terror,
Hate being thy bride,
And Pain thy assurance,
Let go of the Innocence!

I knew thee since my first breath,
I saw thee mince my thoughts,
Not anymore;
I let Thee free, for-
Fear shall fear itself hereafter..!

"Rippled Emotions"

Destiny's faith over heart's wants,

Designed to interlude,

Commotions of the chaotic mind.

Illusions quite electrifying,

Shudders yet reasoning,

The sense of existence.

Rippled emotions overwhelming,

Leaving behind bewilderment,

Making me angelic!

"Beauty"

A fragile fair frame,
A delicate texture,
A graceful glide,
A raw aroma.
The twinkling mischief,
The shielded form,
The innocence.
A writer's pride,
A poet's bride,
A painter's colored eye.
Beauty, you are so varied!

I look you in the eye,
I transform into you,
When Thee praises me.
I see you in an admirer's look,
I feel you in the winter's chill,
I love you in my very being.

Beauty, you are so very mine.
I hold you,
I will keep you safe
In every moment's Faith.